Forum etiquette

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

Moderator: Moderators

Posts: 2439
Joined: Fri Aug 24, 2012 7:10 pm
Location: SF Bay Area, CA

Forum etiquette

Post by MarieW » Fri Feb 24, 2017 1:02 am

If you have ever been in a f2f meeting, you know that healthy meetings do not have cross-talk.

Cross-talk is speaking directly to someone to the exclusion of others.

We don't have cross-talk in our online meetings either. We do ask that once someone has shared, to keep your reply to the usual TYFS (Thank You For Sharing) and a few BRIEF words of recovery encouragement.

Here on the Forum we have a hybrid. We share with the intent of soliciting the EXPERIENCE, STRENGTH AND HOPES of others. We WANT others to respond with their ES &H. What worked for them and what didn't. Their successes and what they are still struggling with. How they applied this program, learned and grew.

But we do need to keep the Forum healthy and within Nar-Anon guidelines. So I'm posting this gentle reminder to keep cross-talk out of your sharing.

Here is what we strive for when we share:

I post my share, my issue, my concern, my experience, hope, feelings....whatever. This is mine...I own it.

Next....others respond. Anyone who has something to share chimes in with their E S & H.
I don't need:
Advice (you should, if I was you, you could, what you can do is, etc.)
Judgment (you are doing the right thing, this isn't right, this is wrong, etc.)
Opinion (I think, just my 2 cents, I have seen, I heard, etc.)

One way I check my posts and responses is to read them and see if I use mostly "I" or "you", "your" or "we". When posting about my personal experience, I should be using the word "I".

I now get to read the responses....I take what I want and leave the rest. I do not respond to each post.

Ending....perhaps after I have received a few shares, I may tell people how much I appreciate their responses. I don't single anyone out as being right or anyone out as being fact, we do not put the SPOTLIGHT on anyone.

What we want to avoid is a running dialog of back and forth cross-talk.
For example:
I share, people respond, I respond to each post and give more detail so people will understand my situation,
people share again, I explain all the reasons why I can't do what they've done,
people share again, and then I post on a related but different situation and it starts all over again...

That is not healthy for anyone. So here are some simple guidelines:
End (if you feel the need for closure), with a Thanks.

Do this as much as you need!! If you have a new experience to share, start a new post. Share, Share, Share...listen and learn!

If you want to have further discussion with an individual you should take it off the Forum and send the person a private message - or pick up the phone. This is what fellowship is all about.

Thank you for helping to keep this Forum healthy.

Your moderators
The only wrong way to work this program is to not work it.


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 3 guests