Ah codependency....

[jraisbeck]

you have served me well (but not really) for most of my life. But now, alas, it is time to break free from your web. It is time that I let others do what they can do for themselves and I do what I can do for myself.

I had a realization just a bit ago...I was talking to a friend about an issue he has been struggling with, and I mentioned to him that there was a 12 step program for it! He sounded interested, so my codependent self immediately began to search the internet for local meetings and information and bombarded him with the information I found via text. I then realized shortly after what I had done! I texted him back to apologize for this misstep, to which he replied that it really was not that big of a deal. I said, yes, it is. I need to allow people to do for themselves what they can do and not overstep my boundaries. I should have shared there was a 12 step and left it at that--if he was interested he would have looked up the information himself.

So thankful for this program and that I am learning to catch myself in these acts of "helping"...now to get to the point that I can stop myself before would be lovely!

[coinman_4]

Jen?

There is a 12 step fellowship for complusive talkers. It's called ...


Onandonanon.

Heh

Love,

Coinman_4

[jraisbeck]

Coinman,

HA! That is funny!!!! I could definitely use that at times.

[Cheryl]

Dear Jen,

I love this post!

Cheryl

[jraisbeck]

Thanks Cheryl! So glad I have found this forum, I have learned SO much from everyone on here and I can see even in early recovery how my codependency stretches into lots of relationships...I thought someone else may benefit from this as well. Awareness is a beautiful thing, even if it requires change that may be difficult.

[Cheryl]

Jen,

My son is registering for his Fall classes in a couple of weeks, and I have gone on-line to look at course options for him. Why? He is perfectly capable to doing so for himself and my feedback is not needed! That is why I love your post .... I was caught in my co-dependency again!!!! LOL!

Cheryl

[gypsy56]

[quoteso my codependent self immediately began to search the internet for local meetings and information and bombarded him with the information ][/quote]

oh hell, I did the same thing for my RAH back in the day ... I did everything but color-code the meetings w/ maps!!! HA!!!

so thankful TODAY, I don't do that ... and sometimes he misses the ol' codie I was ... I DON'T! Makes my life so much easier and runs smoother.

It works if you work it!