An era has ended....

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

Moderator: DianeB

An era has ended....

Postby Linda (lsv) » Thu May 03, 2012 6:15 pm

Hi Family,

Some of you are aware that I have been going through a divorce....for the past 20 months or so. It was not my choice, yet, I was not in control. I wanted to change so many things...the man I married for one ( :roll: ). I had to use every tool I learned in this program to keep moving forward. Many days, I was stagnant; some I was just plain despondant; others I was hopeful; others I just worked to stay sane. If not for this program, and the wonderful folks in it, I would have gone to the dark side once again for sure. Today my divorce is officially final. It is a bittersweet day at best. I am truly relieved that this part of my journey is over...even if there are many things to be tied up yet. I am tired...it has been a long and emotionally draining experience. I am sad...a HUGE part of my life (like 40 years :o ) us over. I am a bit scrared...as they say...life as I knew it is over. Although, that really happened almost two years ago. Yet, it is not over until it is over. It is over. I have to move on....I have the chance to move on and change...and I not know exactly what my life will look like. And that is ok...because I have all of you to lean on and hold my hand. I never thought I would have to redefine myself and my life at this point. It just is what it is. Just for today....I am grateful it is over; I am grateful it worked out as well as could be expected; I am grateful I have so many program friends....I am grateful for anyone who reads this.

I really do know the horrific impact of loving an addict. I do...up close and personal. I live it daily...if he is clean, relapsing, or in recovery. This program has given me the ability to live life on life's terms...and sometimes I really hate the terms. I just know now that I cannot change some things....most things...I can only change and control me. That is a gift. I am grateful. My HP has me exactly where I am meant to be...if I understand it or not. I have learned that I do not have to understand everything...some I just need to accept.

I will now put my feet up...and crochet!

Love you all for bearing with me through this process,

Linda
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Re: An era has ended....

Postby carpediem » Thu May 03, 2012 6:18 pm

My hat is off to you, Linda. You got through this with flying colors and I know you will use your program to take you exactly where you'll be happiest. Lots of love,
K
"Enlightened ones only show us the way. We have to do our own work." --The Two-Year-Old Yoga Teacher.
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Re: An era has ended....

Postby DianeB » Thu May 03, 2012 6:23 pm

Love you ;)
with Love

DianeB



“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.” - Charles Darwin

http://nar-anon.org
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Re: An era has ended....

Postby sarah » Thu May 03, 2012 6:40 pm

Linda...I am praying so hard for your strength...I hurt so much inside knowing what decisions I have to make...and the longer I wait, the tougher it gets..I am looking forward to that day when I can put my feet up and read a good book (even though I use to knit :lol: )...Thank you for that amazing inspiration!...Love, Sarah
"Virtue is measured by struggles not by prizes" Anonymous
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Re: An era has ended....

Postby mommalu » Thu May 03, 2012 6:44 pm

My sweet Linda

I, too, had mixed feelings on my divorce being "final".

The legalities were one thing, the emotions are another.

It was the wisdom of this program that helped me see life as it was, not as I wanted.

It was the wisdom of this program that taught me acceptance.

It was the wisdom of this program that taught me a "new way to live".

It was the loving compassionate people here, that hold my hand and keep me moving forward.

Hugs, my sweet friend!

Love you tons!

Lu
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Re: An era has ended....

Postby mcollins5 » Thu May 03, 2012 7:14 pm

Linda,

I admire your strength. Forty years is a long time (I only made it 4 years with mine, a long time ago)...
So glad to hear that you are taking it in stride, and taking care of you.
and I agree with you about accepting life on life's terms...for a long time
I thought that it wasn't Life in charge of the terms, but me, lol.

I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers as you go through this transformation.

Love,

Mary

p.s. What a good idea - think I'm going to go crochet, too.
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Re: An era has ended....

Postby judyg » Thu May 03, 2012 7:34 pm

You are a shining example of grace and dignity under fire! You are not only going to survive; you will thrive!

XXOO

Judy
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Re: An era has ended....

Postby jjabc » Thu May 03, 2012 8:19 pm

Linda,
I am both sad and happy for you. Happy this long year is over as fear of the unknown is so overwhelming. I am also sad for you, as I know how sad the ending of the dream can be. I hope you will choose to take this time to think about you for a change. Every year I still celebrate on what would have been my aniversary. Only now instead of celebrating the marriage, I celebrate that I am free from it. I usually take myself out to a wonderful dinner. I love new beginnings and getting to recreate myself.
Love you my friend.
Jay
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Re: An era has ended....

Postby pabrown » Thu May 03, 2012 8:31 pm

You have been through so much and handling it with such strength.
I also hope for a wonderful new begining for you, I love fresh
starts. It does get better. I went through the same many years
ago and feel so blessed for being able to create the life I
deserve. You are worth it!

(((Hugs))) and Love
Patsy
today I choose to live with gratitude for the LOVE that fills my heart,
the PEACE that rests within my spirit,
and the voice of HOPE that says...all things are possible.
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Re: An era has ended....

Postby JanetsHope » Thu May 03, 2012 8:43 pm

Dearest Linda,

My thoughts are with you. As with so many of your shares, your words
really touched my heart. Your honesty, courage and acceptance in the
throws of a mighty and lingering emotional struggle, show just how
strong you really are.

Hugs to you, my friend,

Janet
God, grant me the Serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
the Courage to change the one I can,
and the Wisdom to know it's me!
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Re: An era has ended....

Postby Melissa » Thu May 03, 2012 10:05 pm

Dearest linda---

I have not walked in your shoes with regard to divorce. But I have watched you and listened to the sharing of your heart. You are a remarkable woman and a fine example for your children on how to live life with grace under fire.

(((hugs))) love and best wishes on the first day of a new era in the life of Linda(lsv)
Melissa
___________________________
On the path to discover the peace of God, which transends all understanding.
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Re: An era has ended....

Postby evergrowing » Thu May 03, 2012 10:19 pm

Love you Linda. You are not alone. May the next era be filled with incredible possibilities for you!
With love & appreciation,

Melinda

"Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know."
- Pema Chodron
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Re: An era has ended....

Postby river rock » Thu May 03, 2012 11:14 pm

you are so easy to love, his loss !
Love you friend
River rock
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Re: An era has ended....

Postby Cheryl » Thu May 03, 2012 11:39 pm

Dear Linda,

When I was 30 years old, divorced from my first husband for several years, and having moved across country without knowing anyone, I was more afraid of not having changes in my life than I was of change. I welcomed adventure, I was going to chase after my windmills. But, I know now that change was much easier when I was younger .... we get settled into life as we get older. None of us knows what lies ahead, or what will happen tomorrow to change our lives. Maybe there's a few windmills in your future .... a new era of life.

Hugs,
Cheryl
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Re: An era has ended....

Postby wingover » Fri May 04, 2012 1:12 am

Linda:

I wish you the best as you go forward to the next chapter of your life. I hope it will be your time to find new joy.

Deb
“The meaning I picked, the one that changed my life: Overcome fear, behold wonder.”
― Richard Bach
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