So, it's been a while since I was on here last. Sharing my tales of how my ALO started going to his meetings and starting the recovery process. The last two months of his recovery have been an interesting recovery for mysef as well, because I had to learn very quickly how to live again in my own life and how to focus on my own needs, as well as my own wants and desires.
I had to get back out in the world, especially at faithful day 30 (or so) when he deemed it necessary that he had "Fallen in lOve" and walked away from me. Told me to let him go. I had no other choice, and so I did. Broken, bruised and beaten on the floor... I didn't know where else to turn I went to my friends. People i had forgotten about for so long, and thankfully they were there. They helped pull me out of the darkness and sadness and helped make life fun again.
Now, here I am at his day 66... or.. our day 66 really. We are friends again, and he admitted to me that he Loved me, and I know that loving someone is not the same as being IN LOve with somone and as much as my heart cries out to hear that... I know it's too soon. I know that neither one of us is ready for that, but I can't help my heart from hoping.
I am, a bit stuck though, because as he goes through recovery.. he is faced with life problems that do come up.. things that he put off, or issues he may have caused while he was in active addiction, that now he needs to figure out how to fix. I am not sure if it is... "right" to want to help him out, but with certain... limits.. or if that is still enabling him.. b/c in some situations... It's kind of a blind trust. Has anyone else gone through this before? What do you do?
Self respect is an armour that none can penetrate- unknown