With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.
Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.
So, I changed the locks yesterday. I was hurt and angry and scared and had had enough. I am not sure I thought it through in terms of being able to actually follow through with that step.
When he came today and tried to use his key, it didn't work. He knocked and I let him in. I told him what I had done and why. I am letting him stay here tonight but told him I was not giving him a key. I told him If he chooses to leave, he can go and I will not try to stop him anymore.
I feel bad that I wasn't strong enough to keep the boundry I set. But I did it and I accept it. I guess I wasn't ready to really do it. Tomorrow will be a new day and maybe I need some sleep and will feel stronger.
Thanks for all your support and hugs.
"Rest if you must, but never quit". Anonymous.
- Posts: 737
- Joined: Thu Dec 22, 2011 10:50 pm
Don't beat yourself up over it! I have made numerous empty threats and set boundaries that have long since been crossed! After a while I began to realize that although it feels good at the time, it didn't get him clean and then I end up just looking like a fool! When the time is right and we are strong enough and confident enough in our recoveries than we will follow thru with our threats! You weren't ready. And neither am I
- Posts: 70
- Joined: Fri Jun 24, 2011 6:19 pm
we all have made mistakes. Maybe you werent ready yet. You
are trying , you are aware, and you will get to where you want to be.
Dont be hard on yourself. I know when I havent done what I wanted,
I have tried to keep moving forward , one step, one day or hour at
a time. Its all about us, so when we are ready it will fall into place,
and in the mean time we can use everything we do as a learning tool
to help us get there. We are all works in progress.
Love River rock
- Posts: 3807
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 11:37 pm
Generally speaking, I think we do things when we're ready .... and not until then. It's not a matter of being strong or weak, or caving, it's about being ready .... and only you can decide that for you.
- Posts: 3361
- Joined: Sat May 28, 2011 1:31 am
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