Funny you should wonder, "why didn't I do it sooner?" I have those moments too. I look back, though, and I see that as I have been able to dial down the fear, listen for my own intuition, become more trusting of my own choices, and more in tune with my HP, I become ready to take the next step, and the next. When I look back at where I was two years ago, I was a total mess. I wrote cogently enough, for sure, but the memories that my writings bring back show me just how confused and lost I was. I think what happened with the demise of my marriage and the beginning of my program was basically like a full renovation of a house, that started with the basement. The foundation really needed some work. That stuff isn't necessarily glamorous and it isn't necessarily visible, but without the solid basis to operate from, I had nothing. You've done your foundation work, and now you're moving upstairs. The old you wasn't ready to do the stuff the new you can do now. I'm really, really impressed. Good for you, Cyndy.
"Enlightened ones only show us the way. We have to do our own work." --The Two-Year-Old Yoga Teacher.