Feeling Lame

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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Feeling Lame

Post by Patricia » Tue Jan 02, 2018 3:33 am

I am feeling really lame right now, after hearing that my AD's health is failing. She hasn't spoken to me in a couple of years. I asked the police to do a wellness check on her after hearing some awful things were happening. She now considers me the enemy, I am sure.

The only thing I can do is to send her packages of nominal gifts (everything worth money gets sold for drugs). But I don't think it means anything to her. I heard (from other daughter) that the things I mail to her are met with distain. I don't know how else to show I care. She lives in another county with her ABF. The last time she called was because she needed money for antibiotics. That was 1 1/2 years ago. I don't have a good phone number for her.

Just feeling lame and sad tonight. It hurts that she is not in good health and there is nothing I can do to help. I am however, thankful for this place to let out my feelings.

Going to try to let go and let God. And get some sleep tonight.

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Re: Feeling Lame

Post by Knappster » Tue Jan 02, 2018 8:37 am


Just know that everyone here is sending a hug your way.


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Re: Feeling Lame

Post by Ronni » Tue Jan 02, 2018 9:40 am

I think the worst feeling in the world is to know that one of my children is hurting or sad or upset, and feel like I can do nothing to help them. That feeling brings me to the point of despair, and it doesn't even have to be drug related like it is with my RAS. I've felt that way towards each of my children,whether it had to do with serious money issues, a long term relationship break up...anything that brings them sadness and upset and disappointment makes me hurt for them.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Hang in there.
My son's addiction is something that happened TO HIM. It is NOT something he did TO ME.

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Re: Feeling Lame

Post by grateful » Tue Jan 02, 2018 1:32 pm

I can relate to your feelings. I have felt the same way at times when my kids were going through tough times or weren't communicating with me in ways I would have liked. In time, the hula hoop concept helped me with the powerlessness thing. If my kids weren't in my hula hoop, I began to see that as my HP saying there was nothing I needed to do or could do other than to take good care of myself. If my kids weren't communicating with me, I felt my feelings about it, sent them a card or an email that felt appropriate to me and then called a friend or did something for fun or fulfilling for me. I couldn't change my kids' reality or their choice to withdraw for awhile. I could change the way I looked at it.
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