New here

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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New here

Post by AndreaS » Thu Dec 28, 2017 8:10 am

I have been reading over the posts here. My story is new to me but I am finding not so new. I met my husband and he had been clean for 5 years. We have now been Married for 11. We had normal bumps and bruises and not so normal bumps and bruises. He is a three time cancer survivor. He suffers from anxiety. But overall we were happy. But last year, he relapsed. He came to me and told me. He said he sought treatment, was going to meetings. I didn't know how to help him. He has always been very private so I let him have his space. I didn't know what the heck I was doing, because he was not doing those things. He was using and drinking at the times he was going to meetings. Of course, I didn't know this until he started acting strangely a few months ago and I called him out. He was a train wreck. We worked through the first few weeks of hell. He was sad, worried, fearful, depressed. He is still depressed. He went to a doctor, and has been attending meetings every single day. The doctor switched his antidepressants. He is a week away from getting his first 30 days clean in over a year. But we are suffering. I am suffering. He is angry and upset. He is lashing out at me and the kids. And I am so tired. So, I searched to see if I could find a group of people that I may be able to connect with. To share with. I appreciate your welcoming introduction. I hope to learn from you all.

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Re: New here

Post by HollyTx » Thu Dec 28, 2017 9:42 am

Welcome AndreaS.

I'm sorry for the circumstances that brought you (and all of us) here. It's a great group filled with hope and wisdom, love and caring. A good place to vent and share the roller coaster ride that is addiction.

Keep coming back for you.


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Re: New here

Post by Claytonmomof2 » Thu Dec 28, 2017 10:47 am

Welcome! So glad that you found this forum. I hope you get as much out of reading others experiences and encouragement as I have. My husband and I have been married almost 11 years (met in 1st grade). He's struggled on/off with various addictions over the years. He's currently in his worst bout of addiction and is not residing with the kids and I right now, but is instead residing with enablers/users. It's been a devastating year, but I'm learning to control what I can. I'm learning to implement boundaries that protect the kids and I not just physically but emotionally as well. I'm learning that the person my AH currently is isn't the one that I fell in love with and I desperately want the husband I married back (but not this person that he's become). He did in-patient treatment unsuccessfully earlier in the year and I know that the desire is within him. I know that he truly wants his family back and to be clean and healthy but he's trapped and knows his next step but just can't commit to doing it.

While this has been devastating and I worry constantly for him and our family, I'm trying my best to focus on the kids and I. To maintain normalcy for us and even do some fun things. It's hard. I've learned to rely on my higher power like never before. To let go, let God and trust in his timing and plan for our lives.

Hugs to you!

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Re: New here

Post by SDIN2T » Thu Dec 28, 2017 10:50 am

Hi Welcome Andrea. Welcome to the Forum. You are in the right place. All of us here have suffered loving an addict.

I you've been reading some of the posts here, you may see a recurring slogan called the 3 C's

I didn't cause it
I can't control it
I can't cure it

You said your husband has a program. Do you?

There are online meetings 3x per week here. I also encourage you to find a Naranon Face 2 Face meeting in your area. If none exist, Alanon also works.

Keep coming back!

And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life - JK Rowling

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