I think that some of us DO get what you are saying. I also think that it depends on the context. If you go into the chat room wanting to ask advice, if someone says "let's have an impromptu meeting" you could say "NO, I actually am not looking for a meeting, but just wanted to get a sanity check on how I'm feeling, etc."
I have been in the chat room when three or so newbies came in wanting to know what this was all about and an impromptu meeting WAS called to give them an idea of what it is like. Hopefully, they will not be frightened now to come to meetings when they are scheduled. I didn't call the meeting nor did I stay for the whole time, so I don't know how it ended, but it was a first for me.
If it is only you and a couple of others who are not new here, I don't think anyone would feel badly about that. I know that I wouldn't feel badly about it, but I would likely not give you advice; perhaps might respond with something from my experience for what it was worth, but most of us don't like to give advice as we can't possibly be therapeutic for you. We can commiserate, tell stories about things that are similar in our lives, but if any of us were good enough to give you great answers, the likelihood is that we would have hung out a shingle and not still be here ourselves.
That said, I often wish for an unconstrained time to simply chat about what I think I'm up against and with the new chat room we now have that; thanks to YOU speaking up as you did. So, if you can do that on the boards, do the same when in a chat; just tell us what you need if you are feeling uncomfortable! I, for one, will do what I can within our limitations that we are all in this together at different time line points that don't always occur chronologically. Hope that makes sense and thanks for bringing this up as if you felt this way then likely so did others!
Holding you in my thoughts and prayers,