This came across my Eyes yesterday. This says it all .
They ask me, how long will you grieve?
I answer, how long will I live?
The ones I thought, who knew me the best
the ones I thought, would understand this pain living inside my breast
The ones I thought, would always give me grace of time
the ones who now make me feel, my grieving is a crime
Now like all the rest, they think I’m really not doing my best
they’ve become impatient with me, can they really believe I choose this pain so merrily
Why don’t you understand, I’m living but I’m dead
every day I awake, my heart is filled with a terrible dread
All his life I loved him, but now you want me to pretend he’s just a ghost
now you want me to be ‘over’ him, that’s what hurts the most
Why can’t you see, I’m not the one I used to be
for the rest of my life, there’ll always be, a missing part inside of me
Why can’t you try to understand, there’s a dark hole in my chest
this place where my broken heart knows no rest
I promise, I really am doing my best, but every day is still a battle for me
why are you so blind, that this you cannot see
I’m going through life’s motions
and some days I even do it without any potions
Every day I fight this fight, trying with all my might
always searching for just a little chink of light
And still you don’t want to see, this other broken side of me
I’m lonely and I’m sad, but if I show it, that just makes you mad
So I’ll pretend when I can, and you’ll say I’m strong
but you’ll never know, how you’re so wrong
I’ll wear a mask to hide all that I can, I’ll learn to laugh and to smile
and as time goes by, I know it's you who’ll feel better after awhile
I’ll do this for you, because I know you can’t bear to see my pain
I just wish you would remember...it’s not you who’ll never see your child again
and I hope with all the pieces of my broken heart, that you may never have to know the REAL price of love
... For, sorrow is the bitter gift from love’s legacy
You say you can’t imagine what it would be like to lose your child, and I agree...you can’t
Even though you can't imagine losing a child, you can ask yourself this one thing...IF you did...how long do YOU think you would grieve for them?
It sounds so trite when I say ‘you just don’t understand’, but unless you’ve been there, you really DON’T
No doctor, therapist, priest or counselor can plumb the depths of this despair...only those who live and breathe this lonely pain and come together to share...only they truly understand these scars we bear
~ Jarred “AWESOME” Sargent ~
Barbara-Always Jennifer's Momma
"Shine On You Crazy Diamond"