POEM: Please don't,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[Btosh]

TO: Friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances, and everyone I meet in between my new daily routine.
I want to share my feeling on how I feel everyday after 3-1/2 months after Jennifer’s death.
I say this everyday to my daughter,Jennifer too.

Please Don't tell me you know how I feel, Unless you have lost your child too,

Please don't tell me my broken heart will heal, Because that is just not true,

Please don't tell me Jennifer is in a better place, Though it is true, I want her here with me,

Don't tell me someday I'll hear hear her voice, see her face, Beyond today I cannot see.

Don’t tell me it is time to move on, Because I cannot, Don't tell me to face the fact that she, Jennfer is gone.

Because denial is something I can't stop, Don't tell me to be thankful for the time I had, Because I wanted more’.

Don't tell me when I am my old self you will be glad, I'll never be as I was before.

What you can tell me is you will be here for me, That you will listen when I talk of my child, You can share with me my precious memories of my one and only daughter.

You can even cry with me for a while, And please don't hesitate to say her name Because it is something I long to hear everyday.
Friend, please realize that I can never be the same. I am coping the best way I can.

Always, Jennifer's momma

[DonnaMarie]

Barbara,
Your post brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for saying what many need to hear.
I have always found the best thing to say when someone I know, loses a loved one,
is," I am sorry for your loss. Call me if you need to talk." I hope as the days go by
you and Dave find a little piece of normalcy in your lives. I am glad you are able
to grieve and write your feelings on the forum.

[JanetsHope]

Barb,

Thank you for sharing the poem and your feelings. I look forward to the
day when I can meet you and Dave face-to-face, in person, so that I can
wrap my arms around you and give you the hug I always want to share with
you. I am so sorry for the heartache you carry with you every single day
with the loss of Jennifer. I hope when i see you in person, you will have
a photo of Jennifer with you so that i can see her also.

Please know that you and Dave being here on the forum fills my heart
with so many emotions. I always look forward to reading what you share
because you have so much experience, strength and hope to share with
so many of us. I hope in return, our being here for you, is of some
comfort ... especially during those moments that are even more
difficult than others.

Big hugs to you, my friend, and Jennifer's Mom,

Janet

[silvermoon]

hi Barb, friend and fellow traveler-
I don't know how you feel until you tell me.
I don't know when or if you will get through your grief to some resolution. I am not the HP here, it's just me.
I do thank you for sharing your experience, strength, hope, and growth with us here.
You are in my prayers as always.
Love, Sue

[Mom44]

Jennifer's momma
With tears streaming down my face, I read your poem. I am extremely sorry for your loss of your beloved Jennifer. My daughter Jenny is in recovery and I will forever keep you in my prayers as I pray for my daughter. Thank you for expressing your heartfelt thoughts. You never know when what you have written will give strength to another. May God bless you and your family as you continue on without Jennifer.
Sincerely, Jen's mom

[lorinurse]

Ty Barbara for this poem
everything that i feel and also what i want to say when i lost my only precious child Michael
I dont want him gone
i want him here i miss and love himm

i pray for all who have lost a child to this horrid disease and their child
and for those still suffering and their families
iyts just tooo much
Lori

[lulykr]

Barbara,

I have not lost a child.

I watched my parents grieve the loss of their only son.
I grieved the loss of my only brother.
I watched as my father sobbed in pain.
A sound that I will never forget.
It tore a hole in my heart.
It haunts me to this day.

Jennifer was a very lucky woman to have you and your husband for parents.

I am in awe of your strength.

Love
Becca

[bubba1989]

Wow, that is very touching. I dont know how you feel, but I know I see the pain in my Parents eyes and hearts.

[ReneaAL]

Hi Barb. That was sooooooooo powerful. Your strength is amazing. I have not lost my child, but I watched my brother and his wife lose their only daughter. That is the hardest thing I have ever faced, and no, I cannot imagine how the parents feel. I still grieve for my niece, and it's been 10 years. She left behind two beautiful children. The youngest one is Autistic, and they have helped us to go on. You and Dave always have such strong posts. Your experience, and strength always lift me up. Thank you again, and may God bless.

Renea

[charly]

You have just expressed the very heart of everyone who has lost a loved one to death. I get it. I love it when people tell me stories about my dad. It keeps him alive another day in my memories.

[meg]

this is a beautiful poem. its so true. my friend told me something that really made me think...she lost her baby girl at birth and it was devasting to her and her family as you can only imagine. and she expressed to me that it was worse when people said nothing at all to her. that when they saw her they avoided her because they were uncomfortable saying anything at all.
She really felt that even if someone said the wrong thing it was better than nothing at all. i have always been conscience of what i say in times of grief...but i think i have been guilty of just not knowing what to say and avoiding it all together. i have learned alot from your poem, thank for sharing it.

[river rock]

Barb,
Thank you for sharing, I hope I have never crossed
boundaries or been offensive with what Ive said,
if I ever do ,feel free to let me know, My sister
lost her son and he was very close to me, I kept him,
and he loved me, and I him,they live very close
and our four kids were stairsteps, and were like
brothers and sisters, his death started the problems
with AS, I was my sisters rock, I had to do everything
they were all i n the hospital, so I know as much as
anyone can, plus I know what my sister felt about
it.She loves people to talk about Andrew to, thats
how we keep him with us.You arent expected to forget
her or never talk about her, you will never forget her, or get
over it, but lots of time will ease it for you.
love you bunches, river rock

[hellfor20]

I would be proud to dry with you anytime you like. I did not know your daughter, nor did I know of your struggles when she was with you.

I am a mother myself, though. And no words that I could ever say to you can provide you with anything that you have not already heard or experienced.

I can offer you a shoulder to cry on. Anytime you want.

JoAnn

[Claudia]

This poem is exactly how I feel. I almost want to read it out loud at my son's memorial service next week...

My heart goes out to you. Thank you for reaching out to me. I am still in a fog and trying to get through this madness of making arrangements. It feels impossible.

Much love,
Claudia

[sharon]

Claudia,

Why not read it at the service if you want?

Barb, Dave and some others here have been exactly where you are. I have not.

Just wanted to say I love you!!!!