I feel so full of despair and hopeless

Coping with the loss of a loved one.
Post Reply
cja
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2017 4:54 pm
option_firstname: Caprice

I feel so full of despair and hopeless

Post by cja » Wed Jun 14, 2017 6:15 pm

I cannot even begin to describe what kind of craziness I have been through in the last 6 years with my daughter.
Yesterday she showed up at my house after 3 weeks of not knowing where she is again.
She was so extremely vicious verbally, telling me it is my responsibility to take care of her when she needs something because I had her.
It went on to become a vicious physical attack, where she broke my glasses, hit me, kicked me as hard as she could 3 times, and yanked half the hair out of my head.
This has become nuts and I have tried everything I can think of to help her and I just cannot take it anymore.
I actually got her out of my house and told her not to call me again.
Once again, I feel guilty because we have no family and no one does truly care about her but me.
But I swear I cannot take this anymore. I have no one to talk to about it and it makes it even more difficult.

I joined this today and I am going to find a meeting. Things have to change. It feels so unreal but it is real.

My daughter is no where to be found in the visitor who showed up yesterday. I don't think she will quit until she dies.
I am so sad, so hopeless, miss the relationship we had.

Beatific1
Posts: 93
Joined: Sun Jun 11, 2017 10:01 pm
option_firstname:

Re: I feel so full of despair and hopeless

Post by Beatific1 » Wed Jun 14, 2017 7:11 pm

I have learned in the program that addiction is a family disease, everyone is affected. The addict and other people in their lives. Stay strong and get help for yourself. It's in my experience the only thing that has ever had any real effect in my life.

User avatar
LKSG8R
Posts: 142
Joined: Mon Apr 17, 2017 7:42 pm
option_firstname:

Re: I feel so full of despair and hopeless

Post by LKSG8R » Wed Jun 14, 2017 10:30 pm

Welcome. I am so glad you found this forum. You deserve support, and I believe you can find that here. We don't give advice, but I'd like to share my experience today:

As a healthcare professional I took Basic Life Support (BLS) today for the umpteenth time. The very first rule they teach is scene safety. I cannot help my patient if I get hurt due to being in an unsafe situation. The first priority is ME. Only when I am safe, can I be of any help to others.

You deserve to be safe.
Lisa
Trying to be the person my dog thinks I am.

User avatar
vscook
Posts: 577
Joined: Fri Jun 02, 2017 4:52 pm
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
option_firstname: Vicki

Re: I feel so full of despair and hopeless

Post by vscook » Sun Jun 18, 2017 9:31 pm

I am so sorry for your situation with your daughter. I came to Nar-anon after trying to deal with my daughter's addiction on my own for over a year. I attend a weekly f2f meeting, the online meetings (Sunday, Monday, Wednesday), and read/post on the forum daily. It has been such a great help to know that I am not alone. Please take care of yourself, and keep coming back!
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift, that's why it's called the present.

Lagayle59
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2017 12:52 pm
Location: Louisiana
option_firstname: Gayle

Re: I feel so full of despair and hopeless

Post by Lagayle59 » Mon Jun 19, 2017 9:56 am

I understand your feelings. I came here for support and it is so good to have people who understand. I have been dealing with my 48 year old daughter's addiction for 12 years. She has moved in and out any number of times, and I have enabled her, but this time I moved her out and told her I am done. Some days I am very sad but I am learning, through a group I attend locally, and this group, that I owe myself some peace. My daughter is abusive also, and I am done with it. I did not cause her addiction, cannot control it or cure it. That is her business to deal with. Mine is to give her to my HP daily (sometimes several times a day) and learn to live my life with some happiness. I am glad you are here. Thank you for posting. Hugs to you.

cja
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2017 4:54 pm
option_firstname: Caprice

Re: I feel so full of despair and hopeless

Post by cja » Mon Jun 19, 2017 3:26 pm

Thank you to each and every one of you.

It really does help to know that I am not alone.

I have held this all in so long that all I can do is cry and cry and cry.

I manage to rationalize everything for years to keep the tears at bay and cannot any longer. They just keep coming.

I need to go to a f2f meeting this week locally to get some materials.

I am truly thankful this forum is here.

Thanks again.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest