A daughter gone forever....

Coping with the loss of a loved one.
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A daughter gone forever....

Post by DallasMom » Tue Oct 04, 2016 12:23 pm

I lost my daughter to heart failure on July 17th of this year. She is forever 20. She had 2 open heart surgeries to replace infected heart valves due to a MRSA infection caused by a dirty needle. After both surgeries, she continued to use. After enabling her for about a year, I did the tough love thing. I have an older son, a daughter that is 8 and I've had custody of my granddaughter (her daughter) for the last 2 years. So hard to feel like you are choosing between your children. My daughter and granddaughter suffered way more than any 2 children should have. I have been attending therapy for a year, which has helped immensely. I began Celebrate Recovery just a month before I lost her. I have never attended a Nar-Anon meeting, but my therapist is really encouraging me to go to one. I need people that can relate more to what I am feeling. I'm so glad to have found this forum. I have also started a blog at the encouragement of my therapist.

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Re: A daughter gone forever....

Post by simplemom » Tue Oct 04, 2016 6:04 pm

My deepest sympathies on the loss of your daughter.

The insanity of addiction does not make any sense to the people who love an addict. The collateral damage is heart wrenching.

I hope you can continue to give of yourself and look at your granddaughter with renewed hope for a happy life.

Meetings are a comfort and have given me hope. If there are no Nar Anon, look into Al Anon. Incorporating the 12 steps into my life, at my own pace, remembering to ' take what I like and leave the rest', have helped me to move forward. There is so much to learn...go easy on yourself.

Please join us in the Nar Anon Recovery Forum - Main on the Board Index. Scroll down to Topics. Lots of heart warming ES&H....Experience, Strength and Hope.

My 30 yr old son is a heroin addict and the words written in here have guided me in my dealings with him and the rest of my family.

You are not alone in this.

Keep coming back.

Karen (simplemom)
"I am not afraid of storms, I am learning to sail my own ship."
Louise May Alcott

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Re: A daughter gone forever....

Post by Melissa » Tue Oct 04, 2016 7:58 pm

Dear DallasMom
I need people that can relate more to what I am feeling. I'm so glad to have found this forum.
You and your family have my deepest sympathy on the loss of your daughter.
January 29, 2016 we lost our son to a heroin overdose.

I have been a member of this Forum and my local face to face meeting for a number of years.
Without a doubt, this on-line Family group was truly amazing with their caring and support extended to me during the darkest of days.

One of the first concepts I learned in Nar-Anon were the Three Cs:
I didn't cause it (my son's addiction)
I cannot (could not) control it (my son's using)
I cannot (could not) cure it (addiction.

These concepts have given me comfort as I have struggled with the "whys" of my son's death.

I also came to understand that no amount of love can cure or force a person into recovery. If love could cure addiction, there would be far less need for AA/NA/Alanon/Nar-Anon.

I hope you will keep coming back---you are among people who understand the loss of loved ones through addiction.
We mourn and grieve the living---for lives lost and dreams shattered, but this program has helped me find peace amidst the pieces.

(((hugs))) you are not alone.
On the path to discover the peace of God, which transends all understanding.

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Re: A daughter gone forever....

Post by HollyTx » Wed Oct 05, 2016 9:17 am

Sending you hugs and much love from down South in Texas.
I cannot imagine the pain and grief.

Please come in and come to our online meetings and look around the forum.



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Re: A daughter gone forever....

Post by grateful » Wed Oct 05, 2016 4:35 pm

Welcome to the Forum. We grieve together when any of our loved ones are lost due to this disease. You are among people who have walked your walk. We know what a painful journey this can be together. It is too difficult alone. I'm sorry that you and your family have suffered this loss in your lives. I do hope you will continue to return to this site for comfort and encouragement.
Seek beauty

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Re: A daughter gone forever....

Post by Zambiayum » Thu Nov 03, 2016 12:19 am

Sorry to hear that.

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Re: A daughter gone forever....

Post by Phyllis » Thu Nov 03, 2016 1:45 am

There are no words to describe how sorry I am for your loss. I cannot imagine the pain. Please know you are in my thoughts. So glad you are here. Keep coming back.

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Re: A daughter gone forever....

Post by Angelikoula » Sun Nov 13, 2016 8:54 pm

I'm so sorry for your loss ..

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Re: A daughter gone forever....

Post by AngelMom » Tue Dec 06, 2016 12:26 am

I am so sorry for your loss. Words are not sufficient. I lost my daughter over 3 years ago and I am also raising her daughter. Shes a ray of sunshine. I couldnt do this without her. Youre in my prayers.

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Re: A daughter gone forever....

Post by RiseUp » Sun Dec 18, 2016 6:58 pm

Hello,, Big Hugs from the NorthEast.. I am so sorry. No words... only Hugs, even if they are virtual.. But I too am glad you have this support. I am very familiar with CR, if you ever wanna share, PM me.

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