Just need guidance!!! Miss him!

Coping with the loss of a loved one.
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MrsB92402
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Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2016 5:53 pm
option_firstname: Kaytee

Just need guidance!!! Miss him!

Post by MrsB92402 » Wed Aug 31, 2016 6:11 pm

Hello! So I lost a very important person in my life about 8 months ago. I have tried so many times to keep it together in so many ways throughout the years. My best friend/cousin lost his battle with addiction. I know in my mind he was a heavy user and I had it in my mind that eventually we would loose him. So I am kinda going back and forth with a lot of questions,answers and the what ifs and the why did this happen!? I get it, you can lead a horse to water you can't make them drink.... He was a heavy user for about 15 years so it was just like a every year and every so many months he would be clean and than again slip up. Well he lost his battle a week before thanksgiving. Heroin didn't take his life it was a pain medicine and a benzo (so they call it) but his body was shot and he took anything and everything. He just lost touch even though you would think he would hit rock bottom he od'd at least, at least 8 times. I never ever was around heroin or anything. He had enough respect for me to not do it in front of me. I wish he had it for himself. A couple times I tried helping him the last time I tried I lost myself in the meantime. I never tried heroin but I was addicted to helping him for years. I got on a pain management program me unfortunately I just shut down and I found out oh this numbs your feelings and nothing bothers you. I was on for about a year. I lost my grandma and my cousin was on the run the day of her viewing and funeral. I knew my actions were hurting people so I took myself with the help of my husband off of the program!!!! That was me trying to cop with my grandpa passing and dealing with my cousin on the run and probably using and just not caring about life. 6 months after her passing he od'd. I have not taken a pill in over a year. So high five to me!!! (: i went immediately into counseling, I'm a talker!! Once I got a hold of the medicine that I was getting legally it makes it no better or no different than my cousin. I shut down completely. Reason for this is I need help dealing with his passing and I need counseling again and I'm actually thinking of going back to school for criminal justice counseling. Considering I know so much about addiction and what not... I figured I would start here and go to a meeting soon. To help me heal from the years and years of trying to save my cousin!!!!its tough and he isn't here anymore to help and my family kinda wants to stop cause he isn't here anymore I just wanna be more knowledge on addiction and what not. Thank you all for your help!!!!

MarieW
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Joined: Fri Aug 24, 2012 7:10 pm
Location: SF Bay Area, CA
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Re: Just need guidance!!! Miss him!

Post by MarieW » Wed Sep 07, 2016 12:57 pm

I am so sorry for your loses. My 25 year old nephew died from complications of alcoholism. He had a health condition that made it very dangerous for him to drink, but he just couldn't stop. My 23 year old son is a heroin addict, and I fear for his life everyday.

If love or money could cure addiction, there would be no addicts. We are all here because we love an addict and want to save them, but I know now that I cannot only save myself. I do not have power over life and death.

I think attending a Nar-Anon meeting is a great idea. You will find much support and wisdom there. Keep coming back.
The only wrong way to work this program is to not work it.

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HollyTx
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Joined: Wed Apr 27, 2016 2:35 pm
option_firstname: Holly

Re: Just need guidance!!! Miss him!

Post by HollyTx » Thu Sep 08, 2016 9:21 am

Kaytee,

I'm sorry for your loss and pain.

Keep coming back for you.

Holly

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grateful
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Re: Just need guidance!!! Miss him!

Post by grateful » Thu Oct 06, 2016 1:10 pm

I'm sorry to read about the recent losses in your life. I'm happy to read that you know you need help for you. Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meetings are for us since we, too, have been affected by the disease. I hope you'll check out some in your area before you decide whether or not the program is for you. It is suggested that we attend at least 6 meetings before making it. Many of us have suffered the early deaths of loved ones. You are not alone. There are others in the face to face meetings who are also grieving losses. Together, we grow. Alone, we continue to suffer. Keep coming back here, too.
Seek beauty

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