My Mom was a drug user

Coping with the loss of a loved one.
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ARS83
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2016 1:54 pm
option_firstname: Angel

My Mom was a drug user

Post by ARS83 » Tue Jul 12, 2016 3:10 pm

I just realized i have a problem. My Mom passed away 15 years ago she was a drug user. After talking to someone he noticed and pointed out that i always want to control things and make everything positive. My mother in law lives with my family and i have a big issue with her negative attitude i want to help her all the time. But i cant and i feel this is coming from my childhood. Growing up my Mom was a drug user. My parents got a divorce and my brother and i were living with my mother. At age 8 i was supposed to raise my brother while my Mom wasn't present because she was busy with her drugs. I have had some good moments with my Mom but most i just remember the fights we have had about drugs and its really upsetting. I need to try to let go of my control issue and try not to fix everything since its really effecting me as a person. I have 3 children and a husband and i want my family to be happy and not effected by my problem.

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jeanette
Posts: 1040
Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2009 1:38 pm
Location: West Virginia
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Re: My Mom was a drug user

Post by jeanette » Tue Jul 12, 2016 3:20 pm

welcome to nar-anon -

I understand the wanting to help people and to help pull them out of their negative attitude.

For most of my life I was "the cheerleader" and "little Mary Sunshine", which is actually part of my natural being. However, working the steps and being part of nar-anon taught me that I also push down and ignore any "bad" feelings or emotions. I came to realize that I need to honor and work through my feelings and emotions, and it is a sign of respect to let others also have their feelings.

One of my biggest "ah-ha" moments is when I realized how much I didn't like being controlled or manipulated by others. That is when I truly realized how much I was hurting others by trying to control them.

The past cannot be changed, but nar-anon has allowed me to be at peace with my past, while making the most of present and having hope for a better future!

Welcome!
Thoughts and Prayers, Peace and Love
Jeanette

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them FEEL. - Maya Angelou

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HollyTx
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Joined: Wed Apr 27, 2016 2:35 pm
option_firstname: Holly

Re: My Mom was a drug user

Post by HollyTx » Tue Jul 12, 2016 4:43 pm

Welcome to the forum!

You can find literature and a meeting finder for face-to-face meetings at nar-anon.org.
We also have meetings here x3/week.

I also found a wealth of information here on the forum by looking at prior posts.

Hugs,

Holly

ARS83
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2016 1:54 pm
option_firstname: Angel

Re: My Mom was a drug user

Post by ARS83 » Tue Jul 12, 2016 4:55 pm

Hi Holly, I tried nar-anon.org it didn't work. Where can i find the weekly chat or discussions?

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