6 friends in 6 months...

Coping with the loss of a loved one.
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CoteM1911
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6 friends in 6 months...

Post by CoteM1911 » Tue Mar 31, 2015 4:02 pm

A few years ago when I was 22-23 my childhood/present best friend died of a heroin overdose.

I was mad at him, and cut him out of my life a week before he died. I thought he stole from me. He called and called, left voicemails and texts, and I ignored it all. I knew he was getting high, the last night he was at my house he was nodding out in... yes IN... the dinner I just made him. Then when I thought something of mine went missing, I blamed him. So I cut him out of my life. I ignored all his advances towards communication. He died a week later. He called me that night.... I didn't answer. He was found alone, in a hotel room by himself.
A few days later I found the item that I thought he 'stole' from me... it was simply misplaced.

The month after that, another high school friend died... of a heroin over dose.
And the next consecutive 5 months another high school friend died.
6 friends dead by overdose in 6 months. 6 wakes and funerals in 6 months.
A few years later, a few more people from school died for the same thing. I don't really know how many it's been since I graduated in 2006, but if I was to guess, it would be probably 10. All heroin overdoses. That's not including a very good friend of mine who died in a motorcycle accident. Or the one who died from Xanax and fentanyl overdose. Or the one who was killed by a drunk driver. So many losses over the years. I'm only 27... all these people were my age. I've been walking on eggshells for years. Dreading every phone call, every text waiting for the news of someone else.

My fiancé, the love of my life is currently in rehab for heroin. Although he's never injected it (which really doesn't offer too much comfort), I'm TERRIFIED of losing him to. And I feel that I have every right to be. I'm going to f2f meetings. Learning and absorbing what I can. Heroin has been shredding my life for years. To say I hate it is such a gentle word. Thanks for listening...

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jeanette
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Re: 6 friends in 6 months...

Post by jeanette » Tue Mar 31, 2015 4:55 pm

Just want you to know you are heard.
I also hate addiction.
Thoughts and Prayers, Peace and Love
Jeanette

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them FEEL. - Maya Angelou

Lyndi
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Re: 6 friends in 6 months...

Post by Lyndi » Wed Apr 01, 2015 12:58 am

I'm glad you wrote. please keep in touch. i am praying for your fiance and for you.

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EMPTY
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Re: 6 friends in 6 months...

Post by EMPTY » Wed Apr 01, 2015 9:31 pm

Yes, I too despise this horrible drug that destroys everything in its path.
I truly believe it is the devil in disguise.

I pray for you, your loved one and all of us.

Maddy

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grateful
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Re: 6 friends in 6 months...

Post by grateful » Wed Apr 01, 2015 9:38 pm

Hello. I'm sorry that so many sudden deaths have affected you at such a young age. Although we don't give advice, we can make suggestions. If you're not attending Nar-Anon (Al-Anon if there are no Nar-Anon groups in your area), I think it might be a very helpful thing for you to attend at least six meetings to discern whether or not the meetings are for you. It isn't an accident that you are surrounded by folks who have died due to heroin addictions. If you are in Nar-Anon or Al-Anon, maybe seeking out a good grief counselor in your area to help you grieve through all these losses could be a help to you? Perhaps all these losses will one day prove to be a blessing to you and others? I've learned in my lifetime that my experiences - the hard ones and the happy ones - have all contained lessons for me that helped me grow in ways I couldn't have done without them. Keep coming back.
Seek beauty

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