What brings you comfort?

Coping with the loss of a loved one.
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What brings you comfort?

Post by BeeBee » Mon Jun 16, 2014 12:29 pm

This month will mark 6 months since my son passed. It seems surreal for me even to type this. I am not sure how open minded anyone here is on the forum. I don't care what religion anyone is, this is a spiritual type of posting.

Ever since high school, I had crazy premonitions and a few would come true. They freaked me out so bad that after they happened, I never got them again after that. However, after my mom passed away a few years ago, I would get 'signs' that she was around that couldn't be explained away. I would share these signs with other grieving friends whose loved ones passed away or who were terminally ill, and then I would get more signs....

I have no clue if they ever got any signs from their loved ones or not, but I felt that it would be wrong of me to keep it to myself.

Maybe I am crazy, but I have to say since my son has passed away, I have been bombarded and overwhelmed at times with signs. Not just reminders, but actual signs that he is still with me, maybe not in the physical universe, but definitely in the spiritual sense.

And that, gives me some form of comfort. He will always be with me.

I hope you all find something to give you comfort that your loved one hasn't ever left you.

Keep talking to them and keep looking for your signs.


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Re: What brings you comfort?

Post by MarieW » Sat Jun 21, 2014 9:27 pm

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. I understand seeing "signs". Right after my mother died, I felt her around me and heard her in my head. At one point, I was in her house looking for her silverware (it was very important to her). It wasn't in the silver chest where I remembered it being. I stood in her room and asked out loud, "Mom, where is your silver?" And I "heard" clear as a bell, "It is in the linen closet." And sure enough, that's where I found it, rolled up in towels and hidden way in the back of the top shelf.

After the funeral, I didn't feel her anymore. I hope that means she moved on to a better place. I am not religious. I am just starting to understand my higher power. But, it gives me comfort to think that there is existence of some sort after death, that our spirits live on in some form, that we are part of something bigger than this reality and that we have a higher purpose.
The only wrong way to work this program is to not work it.

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Re: What brings you comfort?

Post by lbogie » Wed Jul 23, 2014 10:43 pm

Hi Bee Bee,

I'm so sorry for your loss. You are not crazy!

I Believe and have experienced similar occurences. After my closest friend passed away at 46 years old, I had signs. We had been friends for 30 years. Before her death, she sent me "Pennies from Heaven", a poem you may have heard. After her death, I found pennies everywhere. Places I know they were not there before. They just "appeared". It gives me goosebumps to this day. We were a part of a group of friends from high school and very close. Her Family allowed us to go to her favorite lake and disperse some of her ashes. We had a ceremony with music and champagne. We took pictures and in those pictures, there were "orbs". Some people think I'm crazy too but I know in my heart those orbs were her.

After my Dad died, my Mom experiences similar events as well. She is a Believer that butterflies are the spirit of my Dad. Shortly after he died, she drove herself to the military cemetery he is buried at. It's about 40 miles away and for her to venture out was amazing in and of itself. She called me that day just crying with tears of grief and joy and awe. She told me that she was sitting on the ground by his grave and a butterfly just came and landed on her hand. I dismiss nothing.

There IS a HP out there, something greater than me, in my humble opinion. I believe we are given signs to give us Peace and Hope and comfort in our times of need.

Right after my Husband's Mother passed away, he saw her sitting on the end of our bed. He insists he was awake and I believe him. Don't ever think you are crazy. Whatever works to soothe the day.

Take care and Peace be with You.

“It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart.”

― Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

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Re: What brings you comfort?

Post by dtosh » Thu Jul 24, 2014 8:24 am

I am not the highly spiritual type, so I have difficulties with "signs". I do, however, keep an open mind and recognize, now more than ever, that anything may be possible, so I respect other opinions on these type of things very much and find myself wondering about it a lot.
On the one hand, I find that if someone is actively, and desperately, looking for "signs", that person will often find "signs" everywhere they look because they want to find them so badly and end up fooling themselves with false interpretations. I, therefore, remain skeptical when hearing about numerous "signs". Finding "signs" in every nook and cranny will make one blind, or numb, to a possible real "sign", so it becomes impossible to know what is really occurring.
On the other hand, I have heard some very strange (and eerie) things from people who I highly respect and who are also skeptical about these kinds of things. There is no rational explanation for some of their experiences and "coincidence" doesn't seem to be the answer, either. These things keep my mind wide open to possibilities that I used to be more skeptical about. There is a lot we don't know and this is an area needing much more exploration.

Me and my wife run a grief support group for those who lost someone to drugs and we have found that although everyone shares certain feelings about their loss, everyone also deals with it in personal and unique ways and comfort comes in many, many different forms. Grief is not a mental illness and no one is crazy for finding comfort in ways that are strange to others. At a time of such a traumatic loss we need to take care of ourselves so nothing is off the table and it doesn't matter what others think. Our lost loved ones are certainly with us all the time - in our hearts, minds, and souls. That's one thing all agree upon and all share. Everything else doesn't matter so much.
Thank you for listening.

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Re: What brings you comfort?

Post by BeeBee » Thu Jul 24, 2014 10:45 am

I have no doubt these 'signs' are sent to us by our loved ones. I have had so many from my mom when she passed that it was crazy. And when I told others of those signs I would get more. Same with my son. It's crazy. I actually feel at peace at this point and feel like I can move forward because I had so many from my son. I can 'feel' him with me. I feel him encouraging me to move forward and feel his love. So I will take it and be grateful for this life. No matter what is handed to me. So many bad things are happening everyday all around me. Things that are close to me, things that are global. And I used to think that if I prayed really hard that bad things would not happen. Or that things would go the way I wanted. I finally feel acceptance in what is handed to me and that no matter what happens to me, bad or good. That I will be ok. Because I truly feel now that when our bodies fall away from this earth, we really never leave it.

Keep watching for your 'signs'. They are my gifts from my loved ones. Anyone who wants to hear my signs, pm me and I will be happy to share. I also was given stories of signs from my neighbor who also lost her son about 2 years ago and she continues to get them as well. I hold on to these like a lifeline more than ever now.

Hope you all have a great day and find your way to enjoy every moment! No matter how crappy life seems, there is always a ray of hope and sunshine.

Carpe Diem and live with Esprit de Corps as my son would say!


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Re: What brings you comfort?

Post by Hopefloats » Thu Jul 24, 2014 1:01 pm

Hello. I am new here. I came across this post. It resonates with me deeply as I have had the very same "experiences" . I am so deeply sorry for your loss of your son, I cant imagine. I have lost a brother and loved Uncle to the same. In my experience, my brother has made his presence known to me. While not all people "believe" I can only go by my beliefs. What brings me great comfort; one year ago my son brought home a kitten on the same day as my brothers birthday. Every year I spend his birthday alone crying and isolated. So in walks my son with this tiny thing, all scraggly and under weight. The kitten was headed for the kill shelter. I emerged from my room as usual with a tear streaked face asking "what is going on?" I hear meowing?! My son said look Ma! He is going to the kill shelter! I said "no he isn't! My son brought home so much more than just a cat that day. I named the kitten Lex, in honor of my brother Alex. And have celebrated his first year with me this past June 24th. Difference is, I wasn't weeping for the first time in 10 years! I now mark the day as Lex's anniversary with me. My pain and despair, the deep grieving is still with me. I just learned to make room for it in my life.

May god bless you and may we all find the comfort we seek.

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Re: What brings you comfort?

Post by ChloeSanDiego » Sun Aug 17, 2014 10:23 pm

I lost my mother exactly 4 years ago on the 28th of this month and I've learned that certain things bring me comfort more than others. I listen to her favorite songs, wear her pearl necklace when I miss her, and watch home movies. I was lucky to have a dad that wanted everything on video from the time I was born up until I was in high school, so being able to hear her voice again is really nice and I feel grateful for that. I also am comforted by playing the piano/ singing. She was a gifted musician that passed her talent on to me and i taught myself piano in 2011 and never stopped. She's still very much alive in me.

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