Let There Be Peace (Living Consciously) 1 year retrieved.

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Being Addicted to the Addict

Post by Tako » Sun Dec 08, 2013 8:03 pm

Addiction is an obsession of the mind and can also include physical cravings.

I was rather shocked to realized that my loved one's addiction to drugs brought such illness and instability in my life. I became obsessed with my addicted loved one(s) and found myself grieving, shaming, abusing, overeating, lacking sleep, doubling my cigarettes, following, inspecting, demeaning, hunting, playing detective and every other unhealthy trait that obsessions of the mind create. I honestly felt like I couldn't breathe because I couldn't cure someone else's addiction to drugs. I felt compelled to fix the problem and the addict; even at my own demise.

It didn't take long before I started disappearing into the chaos and drama that was brought into my home and my life: I was addicted to the addict and I didn't know how to stop the "crazy train."

Nar-Anon helped me put my life into perspective and to rebuild my life in a manner that gave me hope, serenity and self-worth. I had to learn how to detach from chaos. I had to let go of someone else's addiction to drugs and allow that person to reach his/her proverbial "bottom" or as I like to call it, "their personal awakening."

I had to allow myself to grieve and move forward so that both of us didn't die from our obsessions.

Thank you Nar-Anon for helping me create a life that is worthwhile.


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I heard it again..............

Post by Tako » Tue Jan 07, 2014 2:57 pm

We were sitting in our New Years Nar-Anon meeting and heard it again.........."I'm so grateful that my addict's disease brought me to Nar-Anon."

Although I've heard it many times over the years, it still makes me sit up and listen when someone expresses gratitude for the issues (horrific as they were/are) that brought them to Nar-Anon and a new way of living. It isn't an expression that just rolls off one's tongue, but rather a deep felt emotion that comes from spending quality time in Nar-Anon. It is what occurs when one has invested in one's own recovery process and a reflection of deep gratitude.

The disease of addiction is often referred to as the "family disease of addiction," because everyone who loves the addict becomes affected by the trauma and drama that swirls around an addict. Gratitude is a place of serenity and acceptance; it is a place I'd like to live in, but often find myself just visiting when I'm too busy to notice all the good things in my life. Meditation helps me to slow down my thoughts and acknowledge what brings me serenity and joy.

Gratitude is the saving grace that gives me hope.


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Re: Let There Be Peace (Living Consciously) 1 year retrieved

Post by nayr333 » Wed Jan 08, 2014 12:23 pm

I say it all the time.. my son's addiction brought me to my knees, I found Nar Anon..

I am forever grateful as it saved my life. ;)
Nothing changes if nothing changes, Let it begin with me.

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Re: Let There Be Peace (Living Consciously) 1 year retrieved

Post by Findinghope » Thu Jan 23, 2014 11:04 am

Yesterday I was looked at as though I was crazy when I explained to a friend that even though I was mad yesterday morning I am grateful.
I am grateful for the things i cannot change. It reminds me to work the Serenity prayer in my life.
So I try to focus on the things I can change. And my reactions to things I cannot change.
I can change the quality of my life. By working my recovery. I am seeing the effects of that by choosing to take care of myself, and doing things that make me happy. That is a huge difference for me. The more I find myself doing things I enjoy, the more I discover I like me. And that is not something I though possible before I came here.
You can't think your way into a new way of living . . . you have to live your way into a new way of thinking.

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What is normal?

Post by Tako » Mon Jan 27, 2014 2:37 am


I've heard the lament, "all I wanted was life to be normal" and often thought of the statement that there is no such thing as normal: it's just a line on the washing machine's dial.

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Being Reprimanded for Sending Outreach PM's to Newcomers

Post by Tako » Mon Feb 10, 2014 8:41 pm



I can't begin to tell you how sad I feel that I have not only been reprimanded by the moderators here, for sending out my outreach letters, but they have removed the "Member" list so that I cannot do outreach.

After all these years, I have only received one negative response from someone whom I sent a different PM to (not even my normal outreach letter). I immediately apologized because she misinterpreted my intentions and I felt bad about that. I was also accused of directing people to meetings in their locales when they specifically did not identify where they're located. Huh? Does someone think I'm psychic? How could I possibly do that unless I were psychic or with the NSA? :roll:

If anyone else has truly been offended by my years of effort, I truly apologize for that intrusion into your life. For those who sent messages of appreciation, I will always feel that I did my best in reaching out without any expectations that anyone had to agree with or use the information provided.

Our Nar-Anon principles offer us guidance in dealing with our own struggles and in dealing with other members. When we share information or advice, we don't do it in a meeting or on the forum, but rather in private and through private messages. When I received this reprimand, I was told that I violated our Traditions by sending out information in private messages; that's where we disagree. In Nar-Anon, we suggest to ALL, "Take what you need and leave the rest.

I am saddened by this reprimand....................it makes me question this forum and my years of involvement.

If you'd like to reach me to discuss this situation, please do so at tako4change at yahoo.

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Re: Let There Be Peace (Living Consciously) 1 year retrieved

Post by pabrown » Mon Feb 10, 2014 9:12 pm

When I came to this forum, so broken, you reached out to me. I want
you to know how much that meant to me and the beginning of my recovery.
I never felt that you were advising me but rather giving your many years
of experience. Something I also received from many of the old-timers on
the forum. I'm also saddened by this and hope you continue to "keep coming

Although not much has changed with my son, I have found the peace and
serenity that we all strive to achive and I want to thank you for being a
part of that.

today I choose to live with gratitude for the LOVE that fills my heart,
the PEACE that rests within my spirit,
and the voice of HOPE that says...all things are possible.

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Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2013 2:27 am

Re: Let There Be Peace (Living Consciously) 1 year retrieved

Post by CosmicChaos » Tue Feb 11, 2014 3:05 am

About six weeks ago I was locked out of all announcements?!? I still am! What's up with that? Then I couldn't edit any personal information because I was informed I was spamming. Spamming? Editing my own info? I know what spamming is..Me? Huh?
There wasn't a moderator involved to my knowledge...I think their might be a 'ghost in the machine.'
We all go through enough in seeking help and having something like this happen when we have finally found a site, our second family...very discouraging.
Your messages of encouragement...they were helpful to me.
Peace, light, love and hugs
On particularly rough days, which I'm sure I can't possibly endure...I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through them so far is 100%, and that's pretty good.


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