New member struggling being on this side of things. Help?

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Sunny1
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Joined: Tue May 17, 2016 1:48 pm
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New member struggling being on this side of things. Help?

Post by Sunny1 » Tue May 17, 2016 3:32 pm

Hi all, I am "Sunny" and I'm an alcoholic. I find myself anxious sitting here knowing this is what my family did almost four years ago when I admitted to this. I am doing well and I don't like how this has brought me and my family back to this place. I feel scared, just like my mom said she did on here, to say to much like somebody may know who I am talking about. My daughter's bestfriend who is like a daughter to us is unable to stop on her own using pills. Prescribed pills that are not hers. My daughter asked my husband to help her get help and that is where we are right now. Had to let the parents know and going to get help. The word addiction brings me back to the struggles she will go through. Do they really have a clue? Is it the same as alcohol addiction is addiction right? It affects everyone and I know it has affected me. The sick feeling of taking me back to that place. I can think about it, it is always there in the back of my mind, but now it is like a seed that just got watered and I don't like it. Also reminded my family of the same feelings I made them feel. That makes me feel guilty all over again. How do we help the parents understand how serious this is? Any comments would be nice. I am worried about her and wonder if she has the same tough road ahead I had.

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Cheryldel
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Location: San Clemente, California
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Re: New member struggling being on this side of things. Help?

Post by Cheryldel » Tue May 17, 2016 4:25 pm

I am not an addict. I have serveral members in my group who are..they call themselves " double winners". One person I know and love..was a addict for many years. He now runs sober living houses. He comes to meetings so he knows how to handle his co dependency to the addicts in his houses.
He has also shared his experiences, as an addict. The crazy @%&* he did, how he lied, stole and manipulated in active addiction.
The way I see it ..
(1) it does him good to talk about it..even laugh about it.
(2) he has heard the other side and is on the other side now..exposing it is good
(3) he informs the rest of us, how we can not change the outcome or trajectory when the ALO is not willing to change.
(4) although he is helping other addicts..he comes to our meetings..to learn to take care of himself.
Maybe this is an opportunity for you to forgive the past and yourself. To remember what finally worked for you.
I would venture to guess..you stopped when you decided, you had enough. This to me is the helping we pass on. We can try the other stuff as parents, but as I've heard from others with addictions, no one ..made them stop...until they made the decision.
When the family got sick of getting in the way of their consequences, and they got sick of the down side of using, then and only then did they choose to do something different.
Xo cheryl

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HollyTx
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Joined: Wed Apr 27, 2016 2:35 pm
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Re: New member struggling being on this side of things. Help?

Post by HollyTx » Wed May 18, 2016 10:29 am

Hi Sunny.

Welcome to the Forum.
I'm glad you found us.
I feel scared, just like my mom said she did on here, to say to much like somebody may know who I am talking about.
One of the rules we play by here is anonymity. Let me share a recent event with you....
I had been active on the forum. And I went to my first f2f (face to face). And the gentleman there, who was leading the group, said, "Let me read from the naranon forum". He then proceeded to read a post and the replies. Well, I had replied to that post online. And he read the all replies....totally skipping mine, so that it was not obvious to the group what I had responded.

So I think even IF people know who you are talking about, we are still going to keep the anonymity up for you. That's why this is a safe place.

I'm not sure about the exact overlap between AA/Al-anon and NA/Nar-anon. I'd bet some of the processes and steps are similar, and some may be different.

What I do know is that we have meetings x4/week online.
We have literature at the nar-anon store (www.nar-anon.org) that you can download and/or purchase.
We have posts here that can help.

Keep coming back. You don't have to walk this path alone.

Hugs,

Holly

Sunny1
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Joined: Tue May 17, 2016 1:48 pm
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Re: New member struggling being on this side of things. Help?

Post by Sunny1 » Wed May 18, 2016 11:10 am

Thank you so much for the response and comfort. Just found out now she tried meth last night. So now it isn't just the pills. She is supposed to go today to get evaluated.

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Melissa
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Location: Raleigh area
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Re: New member struggling being on this side of things. Help?

Post by Melissa » Thu May 19, 2016 12:13 pm

Sunny,

I suggest that you post under the Nar-Anon Family Groups Recovery Forum, rather than this Friendship page.
Your posts will then be read by more members and you most likely will receive more replies.

(((hugs))) and keep coming back
Melissa
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On the path to discover the peace of God, which transends all understanding.

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