dual diagnosis... how many have esh on this

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dual diagnosis... how many have esh on this

Post by adzmom » Mon Sep 07, 2015 1:49 am

OK husband is duo diagnosed, n his behavior is so unacceptable and unpredictable its draining. 1day he tells me he's seeing someone else, he's been over me and he wants to move on. Next day n a half he's apologizing. Following day he's accusing me of having someone at the house n I'm showing off on the phone. Starts back trying to verbally disrespect n attract me. N then hangs up the phone. Wow 3 years of wanting him to stop using drugs n this is it! He is sober but not in recovery n with a program its difficult to handle! Please share! Tflms

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Re: dual diagnosis... how many have esh on this

Post by flash » Mon Sep 07, 2015 1:41 pm

Hi - I am sorry for what you are going through.
I don't have much ESH on this.
My ex started using bad but it was near the end of our marriage.
He always had addiction and alcoholism though.
Lots in the family.
Now I'm dealing with my son who is an addict.
All I can say is keep reading. Read old posts, come to the meetings, order books.
It does help.

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Re: dual diagnosis... how many have esh on this

Post by Cheryldel » Mon Sep 07, 2015 2:52 pm

I can't say by having any expert oppinion, but my feeling is drug addiction is a physical and mental illness. I call that the lay persons dual diagnosis.
I saw a post the other day about addition. It said something like this.coming from an addict.." I don't have a drug problem.
I have a problem with life. Drugs just help me cope."
The only thing we can do is work on our own program of recovery.
Xo Cheryl

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Re: dual diagnosis... how many have esh on this

Post by roadrunner » Sun Sep 13, 2015 4:06 pm

My ABF left in December 1st - I said I needed help setting up the snow blower and he came and helped with that, but said he didn't want to be here. the next week my car broke down and he called to say he could fix it even though he was in Florida and I was in VT. Then on Christmas eve he called to wish me a Merry Christmas. Then he said he needed his clothes which he didn't take when he left - then he said he was dating a girl half his age - then he said he wanted to come home. then I said "NO".

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Re: dual diagnosis... how many have esh on this

Post by grateful » Wed Sep 16, 2015 8:48 pm

My x may or may not have a dual diagnosis. Based on living with him for 8 years, I'd say that there was probably a mental illness in addition to his addictions. Regardless, I couldn't live with him. 8 years was my limit. One of the happiest days in my life was when he was going with somebody else after our divorce. That took the focus off me. My mental, emotional and physical health is my primary concern. No matter what my relationship to another person, if their issues are detrimental to me, it is my responsibility and was my responsibility to make changes I can make to take good care of me. If a person goes back and forth, they are confused. That is their issue. Listening is mine. I stopped listening to my x and started watching what he did. The body doesn't lie. Mouths do. If a man is on the fence in relationship to me and whether or not he is committed to me, the relationship isn't right for me. I say all this because it is my experience and the strength with which I dealt with myself and what I wanted for me. My hope was also in me and what I could do to take good care of myself and move myself out of a relationship that wasn't worthy of me. I wasn't my x's nurse, doctor or therapist. I didn't try to diagnose him and I didn't try to help him get well. That was all on him. I did admit that the marriage wasn't working for me and did what I could to move on with dignity and respect for my God given right to live in peace and safety.
Seek beauty

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Re: dual diagnosis... how many have esh on this

Post by River Rock » Thu Sep 17, 2015 10:50 am

Most addicts have a dual diagnosis of
Some sort, be it ADD, bi polar etc. It makes
No difference as we can only control ourselves
And figure out what works best for our serenity.
Their recovery is theirs ,and ours is ours. Also
It takes time for a lot of the addict behaviors to
Get normal, if ever . Hope you keep working
It, the answers will come.
River Rock

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