What Hobby Do You Miss?

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Gone Tomorrow
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What Hobby Do You Miss?

Post by Gone Tomorrow » Fri Jun 12, 2015 10:35 am

My AW bombed my life and only recently have I again become interested in the hobbies that gave me pleasure.

I love old homes and two years ago bought a Victorian stone castle circa 1885. It was a dream come true. I loved waking up to the sun streaming through the stained glass windows and enjoyed researching the history of my forever home. I looked forward to going to work even though it is a 1 1/2hour commute each way - and smiled when I got within a few miles of my castle. I enjoyed my restoration projects.

Then life changed, instantly last April on my 15th wedding anniversary. Out of the blue. My AW became my main focus and I lost all interest in my home and my hobbies. She is now out of 30 day rehab and recovering but she has no interest in the house, my hobbies or me. That is crushing but I have no control over that.

I am only now feeling motivated to do restoration work on my castle. I still do not enjoy coming home although she is in recovery. I never realized how damaging an addicted loved one could be to my spirit. Recently I have learned that I need to live for me.

Who here has a forgotten hobby or interest that they reclaimed or wish to reclaim?
"The first hundred years are the hardest"- my grandmother

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Re: What Hobby Do You Miss?

Post by Cheryldel » Fri Jun 12, 2015 11:01 am

Yup..we lose our joy. That feeling when you lose track of time doing what seems effortless. I have a very creative side. I paint, refurbish furniture, made jewelry..even organizing and cleaning my house can be revilizing.
I've grab that brass ring many times felt the magic only to be derailed when the insanity hits.
It is difficult to keep the focus on us, but it is nessesary for our own growth.
I heard this analogy b4 ...the the mind craves creativity..if it's not directed in a positive way..the creativity goes to negative creativity...which is overthinking and worry about the future... The brain will create a story about fear..or we can start to focus on pleasure..and change the energy.
Sometimes after the ptsd I'm so tired and depleted that it takes real effort regain my momentum.
You go..let us all go..find our beloved hobbies again..let our ALO do their things.
Focusing on them robs us of our gifts.tfys
Xo cheryl

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Re: What Hobby Do You Miss?

Post by flash » Fri Jun 12, 2015 5:38 pm

Planning. Fun, social things.
I used to be the planner. Probably a control thing but my friends all loved it. It was a group of about 10 of us that are close friends.
Some couples, some not.
I would come up with ideas of fun outings for us to go on, do the research and ask who was in.
Everyone usually was.
I don't make many plans anymore. I was actually just thinking about this recently.
I stopped because I never knew where my son would be, what status of his using and so on and always knew I would be embarrassed to cancel if I felt he needed me.
I want to start planning fun things again.
Plan without the thought of where or what my son will be doing. He's an adult.
Thanks for the reminder.

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Re: What Hobby Do You Miss?

Post by grateful » Sat Jun 20, 2015 8:02 pm

I have always done what I loved to do (although when married, I had to do some of it on the sneak or put up with Mr. Jealous Pants doing what he did while I was out selling Tupperwear and he knew exactly where I was.) I discovered since retirement that the things I used to love to do don't appeal to me as much as they once did. I'm checking out various jobs and volunteer work that I've never done before to see what else I can do as a way of enjoying myself and my life. :) I have, however, re-discovered nature and perhaps that is one of my new hobbies? I started a vegetable and fruit garden which is new to me and sit out of doors just watching how nature just kinds of drinks me in after I've been in it for about 10 minutes or more. The birds, the toads, the squirrels, the rabbits seem to forget I'm there and simply go about their business which is fascinating for me to watch. When I have questions, I research what I've seen on the internet. Recently, I learned that the hummingbird feeders I put out every summer become toxic alcohol for the birds in the heat of summer. I didn't know that. I will change the sugar water frequently now.
Seek beauty

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