Babysitting Grandkids

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jade
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Babysitting Grandkids

Post by jade » Sun Mar 29, 2015 4:21 pm

I absolutely adore my two grandchildren.They are the highlight of my life and I enjoy spending time with them.When I am with them I forget about all the chaos and drama that goes on in my life with my 2 AS's.

I babysit part time while the parents work,I have been for close to a year now.I began watching them a week after I quit my job.There have been many good days with them this past year and I don't regret it.

Today though,I was thinking about it.I really don't want to babysit the rest of my life.To be honest,I am getting burned out on it.Especially now that Spring is here,before long it will be summer,and I don't want to be tied down even if it is only a few days each week.

I am thinking about talking to my son and telling him I think once the one year anniversary arrives I no longer wish to be the sitter.That will give them about 8 weeks to figure something else out.

This will not go over well with them,I already know that.I know it will most likely turn into an argument and I will be told that I must not love my grandkids,that since I am not working there's no reason I can't do it,etc.

The father of these kids is not an addict but his words can be very cruel and hurtful.I don't want to continue doing something in order to please him.I just want ME time,to do as I please.Is that so awful?

Any other grandparents here that babysit?
If you want things to be different, perhaps the answer is to become different yourself.~Norman Vincent Peale~

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Cheryldel
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Re: Babysitting Grandkids

Post by Cheryldel » Sun Mar 29, 2015 8:13 pm

I too love my grandkids. I was originally prepared to watch the first one, one day a week for my daughter. Luckily she decided to stay home and not work. My own mother watched my kids in my 1st marriage. I was married to an AH at the time.
She controlled me ..he did nothing to pick up the slack. It was a terrible co dependant situation my mother loved. When I divocrce him I divorced from my mothers control.
When my daughter had hers I was glad to enjoy them on an irregular basis. I knew I wanted to be grama,
not mom.
I raised six kids along with my AS- my daughters twin brother. I still have one 16 year old at home. I'm tired if dealing with kid stuff. Im tired from dealing with AS. I want to be creative and figure out who I am, besides a mom.
I saw my mom not develope any other aspects besides kids and mothering.
Time for re invention.
I hope you figure out to ..saying what you mean..and mean what you say..with love ofcouse. We all need to decided what's best for us.
Xo cheryl

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grateful
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Re: Babysitting Grandkids

Post by grateful » Wed Apr 01, 2015 9:21 pm

Yes, I did take care of my grandson for 6 or 7 days a week until he was about 14 while working fulltime. He was an easy child with energy level that complemented mine, so I enjoyed it. It hurt not to have the opportunity to be with him every day when he and his Mom decided he didn't need "Nana" anymore.

I also can understand fully being tired of childcare. There does come a time when we want something different for us and for our lives. That time may come at different times for each of us, but it does come.

I did not believe I "owed" my daughter a free babysitter. I wanted to do what I did because I had the opportunity, desire, ability and time. If I didn't have the desire, I wouldn't do it. There were times when my daughter wanted me to care for my grandson and I simply didn't want to do it on those times. Occasionally, she got kind of cranky about it but that was her issue. If she got nasty about it, I had to go to the bathroom. Regardless of her opinion and mood, I did what was in my best interest and that was to stick to my "no." I didn't have to justify it, argue it, defend it or explain it. I also didn't have to hang around listening to my daughter's forgetting my right to say "no" to meet my own needs. I also wouldn't give into guilt trips. It was not my decision to have a child. It was hers. Sometimes, our children can forget we aren't there to do for them what they'd like us to do for them.
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KevynsSister
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Re: Babysitting Grandkids

Post by KevynsSister » Sat Apr 25, 2015 8:42 pm

From 2010-2013, my father watched my children full time, 5 days a week, 12 hours a day. He never once told me he was burned out and instead complained to my mother and my mother would say "Your dad is grouchy today, the kids are bothering him today." My mother wouldn't even tell me straight up, "Find a daycare or another babysitter, dad can't handle this." Dad wouldn't tell me either. From my perspective I wish he would have said something so I didn't always wonder if everything was fine. Because if I ask if everything is fine and you tell me everything is fine, I will continue thinking everything is fine and count on you to be my babysitter until you tell me otherwise. Also, I have never felt that my father owed it to me to watch my kids. I only asked if he was willing and he said yes. Hopefully that gives you a new perspective to think about when making your decision.

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