celebrate and soak up the good it is ok

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thockaday
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celebrate and soak up the good it is ok

Post by thockaday » Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:00 pm

If things are going well in our lives, and with the addict in our lives....I think we should not hesitate to embrace it. Thats not enabling or acting in denial.....It took me a while to realize, and give myself permission to recognize when it is a good moment, a good day, a good event, a good week.....and soak it up. We have been thru alot - and these good moments are at times, so few and far between. It's okay to add these good moments to the memories we have of better days past.......and hope for more of them. My son is doing well right now - and I stay on guard and protective of my heart - but during these good days - I be sure to acknowlege them to myself and even take a picture if I have an opportunity! To see my son healthy, and smiling - the real smile I have missed for so long - is a blessing and its a good day......I capture it in a photo guys and make it one of my good memories! Maybe one of these days...these good times will outnumber the bad.

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nayr333
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Re: celebrate and soak up the good it is ok

Post by nayr333 » Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:20 pm

WOW.. THANK YOU for that share.. I so needed it.

Love, Karen
Nothing changes if nothing changes, Let it begin with me.

Forgive1
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Re: celebrate and soak up the good it is ok

Post by Forgive1 » Tue Apr 02, 2013 12:00 am

We can hope the good days to outnumber the horrid.
Thank you for reminding us that they are still our "loved ones".
Heidi

kakakatie
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Re: celebrate and soak up the good it is ok

Post by kakakatie » Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:23 am

I love love love the times when my husband not only is sober but enjoying his sobriety. tho it is still a struggle and those demons come and invade now and again and i see feel his relapse when it happens. when he is in control i remember the man i married and when hebis not. I miss him. Enjoy those times. We all should and maybe they will be are norms someday.

sisterbear
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Re: celebrate and soak up the good it is ok

Post by sisterbear » Wed Apr 03, 2013 11:05 pm

I understand your feelings, when my brother was in jail and I went to visit him, I saw my brother I hadn't seen for years. He was sober, he was funny, witty, smart and looked great. But when he left he didn't car a ride but took a cab to get some drugs. I am new to the program, and while I understand being happy for a couple days or months of your addict being sober or seeming to be sober, I have found that we reach so hard for that, we sometimes ignore that they are on something, just not passed out, slurring words, or running around with headlamps on and cleaning the garage floor all nite. There is always an excuse for the behavior. My mom has said for years that she can tell when he is on drugs. And swears every time that she will kick him out if she finds out he is doing drugs. She never does, not even when he got busted by his probabtion and had to go back to jail for 3 mos. ( Thisis when he was the best) The good is great and I am glad that there are those days, but they are also the small periods that then let us ignore the bad and get hurt again. If we think of addiction as a disease which it is, then if we compare it with cancer or alzheimers, then yes it is a great day when they remember your name, who you are, or are in remission. These diseases do affect the family, but not as devestatingly as a family with an addiction. We still see it as a choice for the addict. They have to reach bottom some say, is it true? Sometimes I am almost offended by the good days, as a sibling of an addict. It is celebrated, while my good days, or anyone elses are not. It creates animosity, and when we realize that we need to distance ourselves not only from the addict but others who enable, we end up in an empty room. My brother in sober living now, after 6 weeks rehab, ( 8th time) is saying that after 3 mos sober he wants a gold cross as an anniversary gift. And after a year of sobriety, a car of his choosing. We have a pontiac g6 with 32,000 on it but he thinks he gets to decide. I am sorry to get off topic a bit, I wish you luck and love and hope that you have continuos good days for the rest of your life. If there is a bad day, then I would consider the rollercoaster and maybe continue meetings and make some boundries that you can stick too. I am fighting with this myself and really appreciate your posting, and it does make me want to celebrate my family while we are having good days. :)
"The ideals which have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty and Truth" -- Albert Einstien

river rock

Re: celebrate and soak up the good it is ok

Post by river rock » Thu Apr 04, 2013 11:36 am

I so know where you are.Im doing the same. I am doing the
same though, keeping JFT -------- forever in my mind. If I didnt
think I had a grip on my recovery to be able to deal with relapse,
or if I was going around miserable wondering when the next
relapse would happen, or if I was projecting about the future, I would truly
have to reevaluate the time I was spending with my son. As long
as I am happy and have peace too, I can continue, but if that
changes, Im not willing to drown again.
love river rock

linda.f
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Re: celebrate and soak up the good it is ok

Post by linda.f » Thu Apr 04, 2013 5:03 pm

T,

It is wonderful to embrace the good times with them and
I sure love seeing my son sober,
But thank God this program has taught me I don't have
to go down with them when or if they fall. I might get stuck
for a bit, but I can sure pull myself out of it alot quicker.

When I think of all the lost days I experienced when my
son was down, tells me I don't have to do that again.

I hope you can put yourself first and continue to enjoy your
son.

xo
Live-love-laugh

Linda.f

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