The thing is that my brother would totally destroy my hard-earned serenity if he were here, and I also don't know if the cancer thing is true or manipulation. I fear if I said he could stay here awhile it would be very hard to get him out.
He has VA healthcare, so if he is sick, he can get treatment and has been getting treatment at the VA hospital for years.
I called my older sister in another state and she said it is time for him to grow up. Ha, like that's going to happen when he's 64. The kind of sad thing is that when I called and her husband answered and said, do you want to talk to your sister, she thought it was our YOUNGER brother calling her. She was so happy it was me instead.
Our younger brother is schizophrenic and has been in various levels of care, mostly residential and often lockdown, for 40 years. I freely gave him money and lots of "things" for years until he for some reason gave his caregivers permission to talk to my sister and they told her we were making it impossible to deal with him because he had no motivation to behave well enough to hold a job at the facility.
He didn't need the money he could have earned because we (mostly me) gave him all he could ever need! I knew he was mentally ill and I felt sorry for him. But all that time I was actually enabling him, allowing him to behave poorly and mistreat those around him because they had very few tools to modify his behavior. He even paid people to walk down to the store or wherever to buy him pop because he had too darn much money. And yes, I missed that money.
Sound familiar" Oh yeah, that's what we enablers do for their addicts. Do things for them that they can do for themselves.
I don't want to sound cold toward my brother - either one of them, but it sure would be nice to have a brother that called me and didn't ask for money. Maybe even one that offered some support during hard times. Just dreaming, I guess.