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The story of addiction...

Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 12:58 am
by jch
My first visit here was several years ago. I was broken, scared, angry, and totally out of ideas on what more I could possibly do or say to my only grandson to help him get his life straightened out before he ended up in jail or dead. Sound familiar?? I was so obsessed with his life, trying to control him, fix him........and you all know the many things I tried! Well, he went to jail, to rehab for one year, back to jail, back to rehab, and finally got through probation, then relapsed, and is now working, attending college, and living on his own in another city. All of my worrying, crying, screaming, begging, etc. could not stop him from turning a simple possession charge into a felony. And that's not taking into account the money spent or the chances the judge gave him to complete drug court so as to avoid the felony! Nope, I could not change him, but people on this forum said I could change "me". Not the answer I was looking for in the beginning, but the solution in the end! Today, he is living his life however he chooses and I am living mine. The story of addiction repeats itself in every post I read and if love was the cure, noone would need this forum. Addiction does not discriminate and regardless of race, religion, wealth, etc., there is no way to change or control the behavior or choices of another human being. And we all know that don't we, but we become as uncontrollable as the addict! So, all you newcomers, keep on coming back, and by reading the many posts you will find you are never alone. The story of addiction is........yours and mine to share with one another.....and learn how others are living with it while leading full productive lives! Tyflms.

Re: The story of addiction...

Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 10:39 am
Thank you for this share. It's a great reminder of our powerlessness to control others, even for long-time program members. You are so right: if we could love them into sobriety, none of us would need this or any other program.


Re: The story of addiction...

Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 9:45 pm
by NeoMom

Great share.

Thank you


Re: The story of addiction...

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 7:37 pm
by flash
Always need reminders that we only have control over ourselves and our own actions and no one else no matter how long we've been working on a program.

Re: The story of addiction...

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 7:42 pm
by MissingHim2016

Re: The story of addiction...

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 8:05 pm
by kcs66
Thank you for this post! The story of addiction is a story that I wish I didn't have to know.

It does help to realize that I am not alone, none of us here are.

I need to remind myself every day that drug addiction is my son's struggle and no amount of love or "helping" or fear or taking on of his problems will change that fact. He does have to live his own life, make his own choices, and live with all of the consequences (positive and negative).

I have to find out who I am without being tangled up in his life.

Easier said than done. But, I am working on it.