I’m using what I am learning.

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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I’m using what I am learning.

Post by Rachlovesdogs » Wed Feb 07, 2018 10:38 pm

Here I am again. .... I made it the the online meeting late but read everything. Thank you everyone for sharing!!! There is a lot to be grateful for....

I am grateful for my beautiful son and the joy he has brought to my life. He will be one next week and he is amazing.

I am grateful for the love of my father and step mother and their involvement and assistance in my sons care.

I am grateful for a stable job.

I am sick for 3 weeks sinus infection etc but I am grateful that there is no fever or flu... knock on a really hard piece of wood....

I am grateful that my AH has been somewhat easier to talk to and is helping around the house.

That really did feel good.....

On a second note I wanted to share how I used what I am learning tonight.
My husband was caught using by me. He denied it. I yelled much less. ... then walked away to calm down. Then spoke with him to tell him in a calm manner that we both know the truth so I will not Engage t with arguing with him over it....
I still didn’t check the phone records and it’s amazing how good that feels.

I did say it was ok for my husband to sell weed from our home to two normal people to our life.. despite having made that a boundary of no drugs at all in our home or sold from out home.... he said it was one last time to pay back his friend that he owes money... stupid on my part I see that now. I can not risk loosing my child....

Also my AH and I went to Naranon and NA meetingat same location and then out to dinner last week. We planned to do the same and he brought up that he will be going to the meeting he wants... which is AA and a meeting that he has had his drug dealer meet him at to buy drugs... and told me I can drop him off there. I said no thank you the plans remain the same and you may decide to join or not.

I’m sad but calm

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Re: I’m using what I am learning.

Post by jp2018 » Fri Feb 09, 2018 7:07 pm

Sad but calm. That's me these days. For the most part anyway. Isn't it so nice to have those 'normal' days?

I went to visit my Grams in her nursing home today and when I came home he was gone. He never picks up his phone when he's off on a bender, or returns texts, so after several calls and texts I assumed he wouldn't be coming home. We'd just made dinner reservations before I left and when I came home to an empty house I was what you said....sad but calm. And decided that if he did not make it back in time, I was going to be dining solo. I was looking forward to us going out together for the first time in ages, but dang it, I was looking forward to going out in general! I was going to go and have that steak and enjoy it, even if I was sad!

Turns out he came home only 30 minutes later. He probably did score, but at least he didn't go on a bender and we can still be 'normal' and go out to dinner.

Thank you for sharing.

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Re: I’m using what I am learning.

Post by MarleyRose13549 » Mon Feb 12, 2018 11:12 am

You did good! Man it does feel good to look at the phone records doesn't it? I did this too this weekend and called it my relapse when my husband relapsed. It works if you work it they say...and it really does!!! It's amazing the thoughts that come I to your head when confronted with him using again. You actually think about your reactions....you can only control yourself and the way you react! I say that to myself alot. and I practice what is discussed on the "think" pages in the book....stop and think before you react. It help so much !!! Keep up the good work, you are worth it!
"The wishbone will never replace the backbone."

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