Considering going

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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Considering going

Post by Rs00765605 » Wed Feb 07, 2018 12:38 pm

My GF of over 3 years has had an ongoing addiction problem. Shes also been in trouble over it as well. She's starting treatment court in the near future and is going to meetings and is hopefully on the road to recovery. However, this has strained our relationship, as well as that between her and her daughter. I have taken on her 11 year old daughter as my own. I have located a local meeting on Sunday nights which I am considering going to. I have talked to the daughter and she wants to go as well. I guess my question is this, is this appropriate for an 11 year old to go to? Do I just show up? What can I expect from one of these meetings. My GF is an amazing, beautiful woman. I know she can beat this, however, it's left some deep scars. We are on our absolute last chance to fix our home and family. In doing so, I am committed to doing whatever I can in order to help her and I want to help fix the relationship between her and her daughter. Any advice is much appreciated. Thank you in advance.

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Re: Considering going

Post by SDIN2T » Wed Feb 07, 2018 1:06 pm

Welcome to the Forum.

In Naranon (here or at a meeting), we don't give advice but we share our experiences in similar situations. In the sharing from everyone that will respond, you may find something useful.

For me, I found going to Face 2 Face meeting regularly (sometimes 3x per week) was one of the best things I ever did. There is a lot to be gained from being around other people that understand what you're going through and to understand you are not alone.

I've been at meetings where people have brought young kids. I personally would not do it for several reasons. Sometimes the language can be a bit salty as people are describing their situation with a lot of emotion. Sometimes the subjects discussed may not be appropriate for a young child. That is not advice, that is my experience. There is Ala-Teen for kids and I've heard that is a good option for them. Nara or Ala - Doesn't matter. It's all about being a kid suffering from the effects of addiction.

I don't know what your expectation is going to a meeting. When I first started going, I went so someone could tell me how to fix my addicts (wife and 2 oldest sons). I kept going because I wasn't getting that information. After awhile I discovered Naranon is for us and how we can lead a better life loving an addict. This program does NOT tell you how to fix your addict.

I also believe my addicts can beat this. When I say 'beat this', to me, it means finding recovery. It doesn't mean being cured, because addiction is a life long disease that has no cure.

But if, when and how my addicts find recovery is not up to me, it's up to them. So no matter how much I believe in their ability to 'beat' addiction, it's only their effort than can do it. What I can do is work this program to find my recovery.

Keep coming back
And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life - JK Rowling

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Re: Considering going

Post by Knappster » Wed Feb 07, 2018 1:27 pm

Welcome. We have online meetings here 3x per week, there is one tonight. They are Sunday, Monday and Wednesdays at 8 p.m. eastern time. You will find a wonderful, caring group of people who understand. Just click on online meeting at the top of this page at that time. Hope you can join us.

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