this problem isn't going away!

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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kcs66
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this problem isn't going away!

Post by kcs66 » Sun Feb 04, 2018 4:38 pm

I've taken a little break from reading or writing posts on this forum while my addicted son was in crisis... in relapse... living in our home. As much as I kept trying not to interfere, "help", judge, panic, save, protect... i just kept doing all of those things. I had good days and some little successes. But, really I didn't do the things I know I have to do. The more I learn about my part in all of this.. the more I feel traumatized, sad... so mad at myself for helping to contribute to this problem. I know that I have to step away from the drama of his addiction and take care of myself. I know that I can't change or control what is happening in his life. But, he is my baby and he has his whole life ahead of him. It is devastating to realize that he could choose drugs over living a productive, healthy life.

My husband and I held firm on our bottom line: "go to treatment or leave our home". My son is currently in day 6 of a 10 day detox and will then transition to a sober living program with an IOP. He has another chance to accept help and move forward with sobriety. And I have another chance to separate myself from his illness and learn to live my life without the fear and drama of his addiction.

This problem isn't going away. Something has to change.

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MissingHim2016
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Re: this problem isn't going away!

Post by MissingHim2016 » Sun Feb 04, 2018 4:54 pm

Hi kcs. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. There is an online meeting tonight about detaching with love. Hope to "see" you there! Hugs.

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Hope2018
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Re: this problem isn't going away!

Post by Hope2018 » Sun Feb 04, 2018 5:37 pm

I’m sorry for what you are dealing with. I’m glad you came to share here, hopefully tonight’s meeting will help. (((Hugs)))

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SDIN2T
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Re: this problem isn't going away!

Post by SDIN2T » Mon Feb 05, 2018 12:24 pm

Yes. The problem doesn't go away and something needs to change.

The problem with addiction is that it's a life long disease affecting the addict, and its side effects affect the family. For myself, change is hard and I fight it. But I have finally accepted my powerlessness and surrendered my will to change others.

:JR
And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life - JK Rowling

MarieW
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Re: this problem isn't going away!

Post by MarieW » Mon Feb 05, 2018 6:06 pm

One of my favorite saying from this program is "Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes..." And since the only person I can control is me, it means I have to change. I wasn't too happy with that realization, but it has made all the difference.

Keep coming back.
The only wrong way to work this program is to not work it.

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hope4today
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Re: this problem isn't going away!

Post by hope4today » Mon Feb 05, 2018 6:47 pm

The three A's were so present in your share. Awareness, Acceptance, and Action. Living in the world of addiction isn't easy but when I finally realized change had to begin with me, my life began to get better. Great recovery work.

Keep coming back. You will gain strength, courage, and clarity, one day at a time.

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