Screaming from inside...

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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Claytonmomof2
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Screaming from inside...

Post by Claytonmomof2 » Fri Feb 02, 2018 12:37 pm

It's happening more frequently, and part of me is happy about it...

My AH is reaching out and showing his misery. Last week it was a 3am drunk voicemail. This week it was 7 texts, 2 missed calls, voicemail and a house visit. Why? Because he had no where to go last night. I guess an argument between he/his mistress and having secluded himself from all others found himself with no where to go? 7 months ago he use to do this frequently when they'd argue. 6 weeks later he went to rehab for his first time. With my no contact, it's not an option for him any longer to show up because of their arguing. I slept through the ordeal, thankfully, so I wasn't faced with whether or not to give in to him. His counselor at the treatment facility from this past summer said that until I'm no longer there to catch him and his mistress is no longer there to encourage him, he will not seek help. He also said that the hardest part of recovery for me will be the weeks leading up to it. Praying that's where we are.

None-the-less, the idea of him sleeping in his truck actually makes me happy. Why? Because it's one step closer to his point of desperation where he may seek help. He's commented multiple times recently about seeking treatment but just hasn't done it. I feel that he's right there.... His circumstances are showing their true colors.

I did break my no contact this morning and texted him back. Simple and to the point, not enabling but enough to show I care, and steered him towards seeking help for himself to get his life back. I began it with something I learned here..."I'm sorry this is happening to you. I never wanted this for you or us. When you're tired of that lifestyle and ready to completely turn your life around you know what to do...maybe it's time. - Your Wife" I feel that my response was adequate. I feel good about my response, I think. I haven't responded to him since Nov. 6th so it's a big deal that I did respond.

I'll spare you the details of what I WANTED to text but this program has taught me is not helpful. :)

Trying to maintain my emotions and not get too excited or too disappointed. Feeling on the verge of a breakthrough.

Dannie
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Re: Screaming from inside...

Post by Dannie » Fri Feb 02, 2018 1:05 pm

This is good news for both of you. I went through similar things with my AS and it finally got to this point as well. He eventually called me to pick him up and take him to rehab. He is now clean and sober for four months. The longest he has not used in ten years! I am glad you shared and I wish the best for you both. It is a long journey and many success stories once the addict comes to the realization on their own that they are done with the craziness of the life that addiction gives them.

justmom
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Re: Screaming from inside...

Post by justmom » Fri Feb 02, 2018 6:20 pm

Good for you sounds like your at a good place. Trying to get there myself easy to say while AD is in rehab it's when she gets out.

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