I just need some words of love and encouragement

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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judyg
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Re: I just need some words of love and encouragement

Post by judyg » Thu Feb 01, 2018 10:27 am

Boundaries are not rules I impose on another person. After all, who am I to set rules on other adults. Boundaries are conditions I set on myself, for my own protection. I don't say--you can't cheat. I do say--I won't live with a cheater. What this means is that I impose such a boundary and I find I am living with a cheater, I have to change my living conditions. It doesn't mean that if I find I am living with a cheater I keep telling him he can't cheat. Setting a boundary and sticking to it is what it means to have the courage to change the things I can.

Judy

run5203
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Re: I just need some words of love and encouragement

Post by run5203 » Thu Feb 01, 2018 1:10 pm

That's what I told him. I basically said, look, I'm allergic to tomatoes. I can't have spaghetti sauce. I'm not telling you that you can't have spaghetti sauce. But I can't. So if you want to live with me, there can't be spaghetti sauce in the house or I'm going to have to leave so I don't have an allergic reaction.

run5203
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Re: I just need some words of love and encouragement

Post by run5203 » Thu Feb 01, 2018 1:15 pm

As it is he's not responding to anything, including my invitation to visit the lawyer for mediation information Friday, so I guess I will have to trudge along and take care of this divorce myself, just like I have to take care of everything myself. I'm sure he'll spin it that I'm terrible and unreasonable.

I'm bitter and pissed off today.

run5203
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Re: I just need some words of love and encouragement

Post by run5203 » Thu Feb 01, 2018 1:20 pm

AND, one last thing. Yes, I can't tell another adult what to do. But I'm annoyed that I even have to spell this crap out for him. I'm mad at myself for being reasonable and rational. You cheat, you lie, you are wrong! Get the hell out and quit expecting people to take your BS!

I'm just so sad for my daughter.

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