Brother's intervention yesterday and now in rehab

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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em0722au
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Brother's intervention yesterday and now in rehab

Post by em0722au » Mon Jan 29, 2018 12:54 pm

So this is my first time here and I am a little nervous but I want to be educated and I know that I need support. We staged an intervention with my brother yesterday (Sunday 1/28/17) with a hired interventionist (who was amazing) and my brother accepted the help! We found out late last night that he arrived safely in detox across the country and we are currently in a 2 week black out period. The past several days have felt like a fog and so surreal, but today is a new day and he is safe.

Anyways, I was just wondering if you all had any advice on how my family can take care of ourselves as well as our loved one? One of the things my mom and I have been wondering about is.......what goes on in the head of an addict during an intervention? My brother was very stoic during the intervention but then emotional when he was leaving. He didn't think his problem was bad enough to warrant the intervention and the stay in rehab but we knew how badly affecting our lives and his.

I am going to my first actual meeting tomorrow and am holding my family members that were part of the intervention team accountable for going to their first meeting within the week.

Any advice, words of encouragement, or comments would so greatly appreciated. I am so thankful to have found a place where I can get help too!

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Knappster
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Re: Brother's intervention yesterday and now in rehab

Post by Knappster » Mon Jan 29, 2018 1:07 pm

Welcome. You will learn so much here by reading other people's shares and stories. We have online meetings 3x per week, there is one tonight at 8 p.m. eastern time. (Also Sundays and Wednesdays). Just click on online meetings at the top of this page. I posted about this meeting coming up tonight. Hope you can join us.

Claytonmomof2
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Re: Brother's intervention yesterday and now in rehab

Post by Claytonmomof2 » Mon Jan 29, 2018 3:42 pm

So glad to hear that your brothers intervention went well and that he's now in the safety of a rehab facility. I hear that the detox phase is difficult and a lot goes on in their minds during that process - which merits a black out period for them. My AH also didn't feel that he really needed rehab. He felt that the people there were far worse than he was (and truthfully, several of them were). At times I also felt that he maybe didn't really need rehab (my brainwashed mind coming out in me despite clear evidence that proved otherwise). I think that's part of the process - the denial, the ability to justify their behaviors and not see them as bad as they actually are. It's part of what allows them to continue down their path of destruction. If the rehab offers a family program session, I highly recommend going to that. There's so much to learn in regards to addiction and the steps that we as loved ones should be taking.

My AH went to rehab in August this past year and I was SO excited, full of hope, thinking that we would finally overcome these struggles. I was envisioning what our life would look like post rehab and just knew without a doubt that we were going to walk away from all the awfulness and into the greatness of recovery. Because of that, I was so incredibly burned when my AH left rehab early and went straight back to his old behaviors. I think that he did learn some things while he was there. I believe that his stay was not in vain but it certainly wasn't the outcome that I knew would happen for us. He wasn't ready to implement the things he was learning. He wasn't ready to let go. I think it gave him a glimpse into how difficult the journey to recovery truly is. I hope and pray for a second attempt at rehab for my AH. There's always hope; however, if he were to enter treatment a second time I would not build my hopes up nearly as much.

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jhelpmom
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Re: Brother's intervention yesterday and now in rehab

Post by jhelpmom » Mon Jan 29, 2018 4:16 pm

I, too am glad the intervention went well and your LO agreed to help being offered. The detox, and recovery period is a time for them to totally focus on their own needs. My RAS didn't even ask about how things at home were going until months later. You may learn that you can only be responsible for yourself and your own healing and not that of other family members. I wish you peace of mind. I know from experience that it's easier to sleep when you know where they are and that they're safe.
Keep coming back here. It helps.

Ma1954
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Re: Brother's intervention yesterday and now in rehab

Post by Ma1954 » Tue Jan 30, 2018 1:47 am

My son is in rehab now and I'm glad for that. What will happen I don't know. I do know that all of this has left me broken and I need to work on me. Keep coming back. Sue
Sick and tired of being sick and tired

hope1
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Re: Brother's intervention yesterday and now in rehab

Post by hope1 » Tue Jan 30, 2018 2:32 am

That is awesome that your brother agreed to go and get some help for himself. Now is the time for you and your family to practice some much needed self care and begin to focus on you. Awesome that you are already lining up your first meeting. Recovery is a process and it is hard work. Early sobriety for my AD looked like someone sober but with a nasty attitude. My early recovery i took everything personally and wanted to get in there and micro manage her problems away or demonstrate that i loved her enough and it would all be better. Didnt' work. The best results for me was when i left her to figure out her own stuff and stayed on my side of the street. She found the support she needed from other liked minded individuals who also struggled with addiction in the rooms of NA and AA and i found the support i needed in 12 step recovery. It has been over two years now and there has been a couple of slips with her and myself falling back into my old ways . Progress not perfection is the mantra i remind myself of.

em0722au
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Re: Brother's intervention yesterday and now in rehab

Post by em0722au » Tue Jan 30, 2018 9:21 am

Thank you all for your support and words of wisdom and advice! I really helps to know that my family and I are not alone in this. We have already experienced some bumps in the road and it's only been 2 days. He somehow got a hold of a phone and called my sis-in-law and blatantly lied about what was happening. We have contact with his case manager so we know that he was not supposed to have access to a phone and that he was feeding us lies. I know this journey will have many ups and downs and all we can do is take them as they come!

Thank you again!!

crushed1
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Re: Brother's intervention yesterday and now in rehab

Post by crushed1 » Fri Feb 02, 2018 12:28 am

I'm new too but I advise you to educate yourself on the nature of addiction and its progressive course. Beside the help with NA, I'd suggest you read "Addict n the Family". My daughter's rehab makes it compulsory reading. Denial is the cornerstone of addiction as well as many other traits that affect those around them. Education is key.

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