I wasn't able to put it down

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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Ma1954
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Joined: Tue Mar 03, 2015 9:47 am
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I wasn't able to put it down

Post by Ma1954 » Wed Dec 27, 2017 12:39 am

My AS called me on saturday. His electric got turned off and he was freezing. I folded and put him up in a cheap motel. It was really nice compared to his apartment. I went away for the rest of the weekend. Today he started calling me to go get his belongings. I told him I wasn't there and he said he was crying because he misses his family. I am the only person in his life. He wanted me to western union him money. To pay for someone to move him. I tried but it wouldn't go thru. HP? I asked my daughter if she could help him and she said she already told him no. She says I'm trying to transfer my responsibility onto her. Good grief. Today I put my vacation/retirement home up for sale so I can pay off the debt of helping a drug addict. I feel awful. Thanks for listening. Sue
Sick and tired of being sick and tired

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SDIN2T
Posts: 734
Joined: Sat Nov 15, 2014 1:13 pm
Location: Desert SW
option_firstname: JR

Re: I wasn't able to put it down

Post by SDIN2T » Wed Dec 27, 2017 12:16 pm

In the past my problem was that I couldn't tell when my addicts were lying so they could manipulate me in giving them whatever they needed so they could keep using. The Naranon Little Blue Book and the SESH book were eye opening and the readings made me realize that I needed to listen to my gut when I was trying to figure out if my addicts were lying. Going to meetings and doing the steps made me realize where my responsibilities started and ended with my 2 addicted sons and addicted wife. I understood how my decisions had consequences in the quality of my life.

:JR
And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life - JK Rowling

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Raina
Posts: 161
Joined: Thu Oct 15, 2015 11:37 am
Location: Northeast US
option_firstname: Renee

Re: I wasn't able to put it down

Post by Raina » Wed Dec 27, 2017 12:23 pm

Sue, I'm sorry for the difficult circumstances you're going through, worrying about your son's welfare and deciding to relinquish the funds you've been saving for your future. There are no right or wrong answers, we just have to do what feels right at this particular moment and sometimes we stumble along as best we can. For those of us who live in northern climates, not having protection from the elements can be a matter of life and death. I'm glad you are willing and able to share your trials and tribulations here. You're not alone. I see you've been pretty active on the forum, so I guess you're pretty familiar with the program. I hope you find ESH from your HP and the members here. Sometimes all we can offer is a shoulder and a hug, so I'm sending you both! Maybe our virtual paths will cross at a meeting.
peace & harmony,
Renee
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You are Braver than you Believe, Stronger than you Seem, & Smarter than you Think.
-Christopher Robin

Dannie
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Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2016 2:58 pm
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Re: I wasn't able to put it down

Post by Dannie » Fri Dec 29, 2017 6:22 pm

I helped my AS for YEARS! Ten to be exact. I am not going to try to estimate how much I've paid over that time because it will likely put me in a depression. It was only one year ago that I joined this program and stopped the nonsense. I still did little things but nothing like I was. I realized it was prolonging the inevitable. I look back now and there is nothing to show for it. Even the things I bought him like clothes are all gone.

I will never do it again but I will help if he's helping himself. He had a job interview yesterday and I was able to confirm it was true so I bought him a cheap outfit. He has a second interview next week now.

I don't kick myself for what I've done. It was part of my history with this crazy addition thing and I learned from it. I will now advise others not to do it the way I did it and I wish I had found the program back then but here we are today. No regrets, just lessons learned and a new tomorrow. :)

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