Page 1 of 2

My grandchildren's mother is dead.

Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 9:06 am
by Ronni
I’m still in shock. Those poor, bereft children. Their Stepdad who they loved suicided 2 years ago.

We don’t know if she overdosed, suicided, or passed from natural causes resulting from compromised organs as a result of her continued drug use.

Before this happened, we had planned our yearly Christmas get together with them and their Dad/my RAS, their Uncles and Aunt (my children) and the various cousins. They had been so excited, as they are every year, for this time, when they get loved on and get lots of presents and get to experience a normal that they didn't often get at home, with their addicted mother (who was semi functional) and her live-in boyfriend. At first I cancelled, not expecting anyone have the spirit for it. But then my granddaughters just really really wanted to be with us, and their other grandmother, I’m sure you can imagine, is devastated, so I offered to have everyone over and give them as much normal as we could, and now they’re spending the night. Their step sister came along too. She is no actual relation to me though I've always treated her as one of mine because she's the sister of the grandkids, and I wanted her to be with her sisters if that's what she wanted. They are all very, very close. And yes, she didn't want to be separated from them, so with everyone's blessing, I took them home with me.

Thank God for my children who pulled together in spite of their own grief and made a wonderful Christmas celebration for all the girls. My RAS, their Dad, has been magnificent ... 100 % there for all the girls, even the step sister who took to him immediately. He made them laugh, he hugged them, listened, brought them out of themselves when they needed to refocus...I was relieved to be able to share with him..with all my kids really but her bore the brunt of it...what felt like an enormous emotional burden as I tried to be there for them all, and the other Grandma too, and her family, who lost a daughter/sister/stepdaughter/aunt. and all of whom completely fell apart.

The girls were piled up on the living room couches watching tv well into the night. They get to do, and have, whatever they want right now. I slept in the recliner most of the night, trying not to hover, but wanting to be close.

Their Dad/my RAS began his recovery three years ago, jft. He has very slowly made his way back into his children's lives, worked hard to regain their trust, and their mother's trust who forbade him to see them for the longest time. My relationship with my Higher Power is a complicated one for me, but yet I feel that Hand at work, and I thank God that if this had to happen, the timing was impeccable....my son was able to be there for his children in a way that would have been impossible if this had happened before now. He would have been alienated from them, they wouldn't have wanted him anywhere around, he would have been completely shut out in his own grief and loss, and unable to do anything for those children. As it was, he was able to step all the way up and in, and be there for them in his Dad role, consoling them in a way that no one else could. Thank God for him.

I don’t know what this day will bring. One step at a time.

Re: My grandchildren's mother is dead.

Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 9:21 am
by DeanW
I am so sorry. Really awful for those children.

But, so glad your son is able to be there mentally and emotionally. It will make all the difference for the kids. Timing, wow...you're so right.

I survived an awful tragedy involving my father when I was 10. The resilience of children always amazes me. In my case, my mind only allowed bits and pieces in as I absorbed it all. The kids wanting to be together, watching tv, "normal" - is good.

In awe of your son. God bless all of you as you go through this time. Hugs...

Re: My grandchildren's mother is dead.

Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 9:47 am
by Ma1954
I'm so sorry. God bless you and your family in this time of loss. I'm glad that all of you are together. God bless your son and grandkids most of all. Peace be with you! Sue

Re: My grandchildren's mother is dead.

Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 10:29 am
by vscook
I am so sorry for the loss of your grandchildren's mother. Thank God you and your RAS are able to step in and help them at this time. It is so hard losing a parent at a young age. Holding you all in my heart.

Re: My grandchildren's mother is dead.

Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 10:42 am
by belkar1
Know we are holding you close to our hearts. We are here, no words.

You have the ability to reach out, that shows so much courage.

Love, cuddle, be present for your grandbabies. We are here to love you.

Love
Belkar

Re: My grandchildren's mother is dead.

Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 10:48 am
by Claytonmomof2
Prayers for you and your family during this time. How great is it that your son is able to fully be present for the children during this difficult time. Such a blessing!

Re: My grandchildren's mother is dead.

Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 11:43 am
by MarieW
I am so sorry for your family's loss. Hug those girls close tonight. You and they are in our prayers.

Re: My grandchildren's mother is dead.

Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 1:16 pm
by endoftheroad
Prayers for you and your son and the girls. Be guided by your heart. Peace. ox Susan

Re: My grandchildren's mother is dead.

Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 2:02 pm
by MATT'S MOM
praying for all of you. Death no matter when or how is very hard on families, -- sometimes harder at holidays, but always hard. Holding you close.

Sue

Re: My grandchildren's mother is dead.

Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 4:12 pm
by roadrunner
So so sorry - words cannot express what I'm feeling - My prayers are with you all. Paula

Re: My grandchildren's mother is dead.

Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 4:17 pm
by Jade11
I'm so sorry for your family's loss. Prayers for all of you during this time.

Re: My grandchildren's mother is dead.

Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 7:13 pm
by Blue Sky
I am so sorry for all of you. I am praying for healing and peace. love to you.

Re: My grandchildren's mother is dead.

Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2017 3:28 am
by Suejan
Oh Ronnie, Im so sorry for your grandkids loss. It is so good they have you, their other grandma, and their Father around to support them, but its just so sad for them, and it always just sucks when a tragedy is tied to a Holiday- the holiday is never the same again. Praying for them, their Mom and all of you
Susan

Re: My grandchildren's mother is dead.

Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2017 8:18 pm
by Raina
So sorry for the family's devastating loss at this time. The children are blessed to have you and their dad in their lives.
-Renee
Image

Re: My grandchildren's mother is dead.

Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2017 2:51 pm
by slm219
Ronni,
I am so sorry for your family's loss. The worst any family has to go thru.
Prayers for you all.
Hugs,
Sharon