How did this happen?

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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How did this happen?

Post by belkar1 » Sun Dec 24, 2017 8:22 am

Morning peeps,

:o a picture says a thousand words. That's how I felt when I got off the phone with a dear friend. She asked me why are all the hard decisions still hard to make sometimes ?

Well I said, because we make a choice to be adults. That's what adults do, shoot, some days I just do NOT want to be one ;) .

My son is in a shelter thousands of miles away. Just got out of jail, no family around for Christmas. Have no idea if I will hear from him, my Granddaughter misses him. She is angry, hurt, everything a 15yr old feels. I can not make it any better for her, however I can show her I love her. Make her favorite cookies, cuddle with her and enjoy a movie. With lots of popcorn !!!!
I can not replace her dad, but I can show her how important she is in my life. That she is safe, loved, and valued.

My oldest will be coming today, he is home from work for only a few days. Then we will not see him till spring, also a huge snow storm is coming. I just hope he can come with his family, and get home before it starts. One snow flake and I will be handing him his keys LOL
OK, I know I cant control the weather, but some times ???????

Our middle one is working crazy hours, with baby number 6 on the way in March. That is all he is doing, I hope he will have just a little time to rest and live his JOY. Again out of my control, but some times??????

My nieces have an open door policy, will they come ? who knows, but some times???????

You see for me sometimes being an adult is a double edged sward. I want to control my universe :lol: My adult self says, put it down, it is not mine. My other self that is ruled by my heart says lets just skate a little toward open water. Really if you close your eyes I will not fall in !!!!!
Ya right, tried that, did not work at all.

So today I put on by big girl panties, understand that I am a grown adult, that makes the hard choices for ME. Be grateful that I have a family, and loving friends. The rest will be history tomorrow.

For the newbies, stay a while, you never know how your story will help another person, you never know how much YOU can heal. In this crazy mess of addiction.

Today is one of those days that I have huge gratitude for my sponsor(she is now my dear friend), YES I hear her words of wisdom. What a wonderful gift I have been given, for the newbies you can have that gift too.

How did this happen ? I grew

Love Belkar

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Re: How did this happen?

Post by flash » Sun Dec 24, 2017 8:51 am

Thank you so much for this beautiful share.
Not always fun wearing those big girl panties.
The child in all of us wants to stamp our feet sometimes and say this isn't fair -make it all perfect.
Like in the fairy tales -make it end perfectly.
You are one of the first ones I met on this forum a little over three years ago. One of the first that I picked up that heavy phone and spoke to.
Your wisdom kept me coming back.
I am forever grateful for that.
Lovely holidays to you ahead.
Big girl pants and all - (luckily they make suspenders and our HP can help hold those up).
Love, Donna

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Re: How did this happen?

Post by Blue Sky » Sun Dec 24, 2017 7:16 pm

Your granddaughter and the rest of your family are very blessed to have you. Happy Holidays.

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Re: How did this happen?

Post by endoftheroad » Sun Dec 24, 2017 11:13 pm

Oh you darling gal! I love this share! We morph as adults and just try to hold the anchor! I had a mother in law who showed me this way to be!

She had 3 sons, one is my hubs, and 1 daughter and all of us were married within a few years of each other and spewing out children. Before she and her treasured husband died, there were 14 grand children and 2 great grands. She never moved, I think she never varied from her traditions at the holidays. And her extended family would flock in from all different locations! She held the ship and whoever showed was showered with gifts and food and love!

This year, my hubs of 32 years and I blew town for a coastal get away! Our AS is in a shelter and unreachable but well taken care of! Our daughter is wrangling horses and cows in the South West and the other in AK with one of our grands! So, what the hay, lets have our own holiday! I threw a small one for my sister's family last weekend, and it was sweet, but now, why not do what we like to do!

It has taken us a few years to find out that we could "leave", but we have such a good time together that we gave it a go! I think next year, we will go overseas, maybe Switzerland or Italy! the world is open to us when we discover that we have power over our own lives!

I am no longer saddened by not having the entire family around me, and that has been a journey to find. I love my family, but they need to come and go and find their own lives! In the meantime, I will take care of us as we only have today!

A very wonderful holiday to you and hold tight that lovely granddaughter and rejoice in her love of you!

Blessings, Susan
This is the easier softer way.....

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Re: How did this happen?

Post by whitedove » Mon Dec 25, 2017 2:07 pm

Funny, I was cleaning up my e-mails this morning and came across this: Sometimes I think there are no coincidences is life...I needed to read your post....I needed to find this email.....We are put in a place where we are suppose to be....Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all

I am hereby officially tendering my
resignation as an adult. I have decided
I would like to accept the responsibilities
of an 8 year-old.

I want to go to McDonald's and
think that it's a four star restaurant.

I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud
puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.

I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.

I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple; When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.

All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.

I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.

I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.

I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So... here's my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood.

And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, cause........

......"Tag! You're it."

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Re: How did this happen?

Post by Raina » Wed Dec 27, 2017 1:12 pm

Belkar and all, it's so nice to read your poignant and humorous reflections on the trials and tribulations of adulthood. Even as we deal with loved ones suffering from the life-threatening illness of addiction, we can still find things to laugh about! I've come to realize that my ALO's addiction is only one facet of my life and it doesn't have to obscure all the other aspects. I feel very blessed that my elderly mother is still a vital part of my life and I'm especially grateful that she continues to set an example of youthful exuberance, even in spite of her physical limitations. If we go for a ride, she'll be so in awe of the beauty of snow-laden branches or striking cloud patterns, as if seeing them for the first time! I feel that retaining that childlike quality is such an asset to one's life. There's a big difference between acting childish as compared to possessing child-like awe and wonder, gratitude and enthusiasm. In spite of being in my late 50's and having my share of adversities in life, I still feel young at heart (usually), and glad I can continue to enjoy many of the same pastimes I did when I was a kid - bicycling, swimming, hiking, crafts, books, skiing, music. Even in her 90s and confined to a wheelchair, mom says in her mind she still feels young. So we may have lots of responsibilities and heartaches in adulthood, but there are still many joys to be had!

Tag - you're it!

peace & harmony,
You are Braver than you Believe, Stronger than you Seem, & Smarter than you Think.
-Christopher Robin

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Re: How did this happen?

Post by HollyTx » Thu Dec 28, 2017 9:35 am



Love you.


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Re: How did this happen?

Post by HollyTx » Thu Dec 28, 2017 9:37 am

Well, that image didn't go thru. So here:

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Re: How did this happen?

Post by flash » Thu Dec 28, 2017 9:44 am

Love, love, love these posts.
Love the thought of being eight, but hate to say it now at that age some actually have anxiety.
It is a matter of staying young at heart, like the 90 year old appreciating everything like their seeing it for the first time.
Holding onto joy and letting the other stuff go is my goal from now until I am no longer here, but somewhere else.
I love the humor and the wisdom of all of you that are meant to be here and cross my path.
Don't know where I would be without this forum
Love, Donna

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