How do I know its over?

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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How do I know its over?

Post by M4r14M » Sat Dec 23, 2017 8:06 pm

My sister is 23 she has been using heroine for a year now we recently found out. She is seeing a specialist who prescribed a couple of meds for her. All I want to know is how do I know she is done? Some days it feels like I got my sister back and others she doesnt seem normal. Things usually go south on days she leaves the house which is almost everyday and when we try to stop her she acts out and blames her adhd for her not being able to stay in the house. What she has been saying was she had been spending time with her boyfriend whom I know is not using, but I am not sure if she is lying or if she is actually with him and manipulates him to driving her to her friends whom are using. Her doctor says that if her next test doesnt come out clean he will take her to rehab. I dont think she should go, I feel like the environment there could make her depressed and come out in a worse state.
Thank you so much. I apologize for the long post.

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Re: How do I know its over?

Post by Hopeful731 » Sun Dec 24, 2017 8:29 am

Welcome. You are in the right place!

I wish I could tell you definitive signs/symptoms of an addict being "done". Sure, there are indicators, like changes in behavior (for the better), but unfortunately when it comes to addiction, we don't (and most times they don't) know when they are "done".

I am in recovery from alcohol/drugs as well. I tried to stop using opiates within the first 6 months of starting, unsuccessfully. It had this hold on me that I couldn't escape. The more down the hole I fell, the harder it was to climb out, and the worse the desire to "escape" the hole became. The mind (especially for an addict) has an amazing ability to justify actions that in a clear mind, just aren't justifiable. 2 years into active drug use, I was in rehab (I was 23 like your sister). I honestly, 100% believed that was it. I thought I was done. Even after getting kicked out of rehab for using, I really did think I was done. I made promises, to myself, to my family. Promises that I didn't have the ability to keep because I wasn't taking any action toward staying sober.

I got clean and sober in 2010. I don't know why, I don't know what was "different" this time compared to every other attempt at getting clean. I threw myself into my recovery like never before. What I didn't do this time though, was make any promises. I stopped promising myself and my loved ones that this was it, or that I was done forever. To this day I still ask my HP to relieve the obsession and help me to stay sober on a daily basis - and it's not because it's a struggle, it's because I don't trust addiction at all. I don't trust the part of my mind that clearly wants me dead. So I do whatever I can to keep my daily reprieve, one day at a time.

What I can tell you, from my own experience with loving an addict, is that she has her own journey. The more you take the focus off her, and put it back on you, the more sanity will return to your life. I know it's scary and painful and you want to make it/her stop. However, we are limited in our abilities when it comes to powerlessness over this thing. No different than my powerlessness over someone who has cancer. The difference here is that our minds can convince us that we have some type of "power" to "make" them stop, because of how addiction manifests itself. What you can do for your sister, is work on you. Check out some face to face meetings, get a sponsor, try going through the 12 steps. It works, it really does.

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