He hit me.

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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Nik8907
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He hit me.

Post by Nik8907 » Wed Dec 20, 2017 11:47 pm

I'm not sure if he meant to do it but he did. It's been a couple hours and my face and heart are still hurting. I don't know how it got to this point so fast. I am scared he might actually try to really hurt me. He has been talking all week about how he wants to kill me. And different ways he wants to do it. I know "its just the drugs" but I'm scared and I'm done letting him scream and blame me. When I have done nothing but love and support him in every way! I want to leave him, I don't want his money but I don't want him to have anything to do with the kids. He had the kids while I was at work the other night and he had to druggie friends over!!!!!!! I don't want to take the kids from their dad but that's not their daddy right now. What do I do?? What are my first steps???? He's not home he left. I don't want him to come home, but he has to get his work clothes at some point.

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endoftheroad
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Re: He hit me.

Post by endoftheroad » Wed Dec 20, 2017 11:58 pm

Hello Nikki, I am god awful sorry you are going through this! We don't give advise except when someone may be in danger. And you are ringing that button here! You should immediately call your police department and report the incident. They will most likely send an officer to take a report and may even send someone to watch over the household!
What he had threatened and done to you is illegal! And he is most likely unfit to be around the children. Please take a moment to put yourself and your children first!
Addicts and alcoholics have very little concept of right and wrong when they are high and worse yet when they don't have their drugs. They can be very dangerous.
Please make that call and let the police department walk you through your next steps. Praying for you sister!
This is the easier softer way.....

Suejan
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Re: He hit me.

Post by Suejan » Thu Dec 21, 2017 2:30 am

As Susan said above!!!
And don’t unlock that door to him at all.
When my ALO became violent with me we called the police- and they escorted him in the house to get his things. Its so much harder if you let him back in. If he pounds down the door at least the police see his violence- please take care for yourself and kids.
Susan

roadrunner
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Re: He hit me.

Post by roadrunner » Thu Dec 21, 2017 4:55 am

Hi Nikki, I agree with all of what was written above - my partner hit me too. I called the police - then I left the house after the police came - went to a woman's shelter by advice from women's group - they helped alot - filed a restraining order - I changed the locks on doors and kept myself safe as I could. This is dangerous stuff - leaving is the most dangerous time - please take care. Not trying to scare you just trying to state the facts. I was scared but did it anyways. Paula

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DianeB
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Re: He hit me.

Post by DianeB » Thu Dec 21, 2017 11:17 am

We don't give advice except when the situation involves danger to you or your family.

So here it is:


Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline

Support, resources and advice for your safety

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Available: 24/7, 365 days a year. Bilingual advocates on hand.
Resources: thehotline.org
Chat now: M-F, 10am-8pm ET


Call the police and report it. You are in a dangerous situation. Your partner is
under the influence of drugs and you cannot count on him to do the right thing.

His brain has been hijacked and he is not sane.

Please take this seriously. You are in danger. Your children are in danger.
You have a responsibility to protect those children. Not doing so is putting them
in harm's way and you could easily lose them.

Do it now. Call and find out where you can go.

Claytonmomof2
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Re: He hit me.

Post by Claytonmomof2 » Thu Dec 21, 2017 12:45 pm

You’re right...he’s not currently the man you know and certainly not the father the kids know. You don’t want them around him like this and the kids will probably be relieved they don’t have to be around it right now.

My AH was on some crazy stuff several years ago that scared me to death. He became a monster and always wanted his gun talking about killing someone. I did a few things - guns were removed from our home and he wasn’t told where they were. I found a safe place two hours away where the kids and I had access to anytime we needed. I spent many a night with two small children not at home because I felt safer with them sleeping in the car than in their beds. It was awful but in that moment I knew it was in our best interest.

Please keep yourself and your kids safe no matter the cost. You’re also protecting your husband from doing things he will one day regret...no matter how mad he may be.

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hope4today
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Re: He hit me.

Post by hope4today » Thu Dec 21, 2017 1:31 pm

You are in danger. Call the police to document and then go to the Court nearest where you live and file the paperwork for a restraining order at the Clerk of the Courts office.

MarieW
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Re: He hit me.

Post by MarieW » Thu Dec 21, 2017 7:50 pm

Please check in and let us know how you are doing. We're here for you.

Keep coming back.
The only wrong way to work this program is to not work it.

Nik8907
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Re: He hit me.

Post by Nik8907 » Thu Dec 28, 2017 1:01 am

Hi there. Sorry I didn't respond sooner. Things sort of blew up since last week. It's sort of crazy to think how much has changed in a week. I am currently staying with my parents. My husband packed a bag wed. Night and I have not seen him since. Fri he called me hallucinating, I was worried about him but i did not go to him. He called me that evening and was threatening to kill himself. "Get really high and not wake up" "rot in the woods, get eaten by an animal and nobody will find him" etc. So I called the cops because I was really worried he would do it. When he caught wind of the 302 he became so angry and again threatened to kill "everyone else before he killed himself" they did not get him until Saturday morning. He was holed up at mommy's house. She slammed the door in the cops face. Probably so he could "sober up" and be able to pass a drug test when he got admitted. Which he did and there's no way he could have passed it unless he did something to be able to pass. In the midst of all this a pfa was also filed for the protection if my kids and I. Now here I am talking to domestic abuse counselors, because I now realize I have been in a very narcissistic and emotionally abusive relationship for years. I guess it took me getting physically "abused" for me to wake up and get out. I am also starting the proceedings for a divorce/custody. I don't deserve any of this but my kids most certainly do not deserve it. And the really sad thing of this all is my oldest son (5) hasn't once even asked about daddy.

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MIA5
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Re: He hit me.

Post by MIA5 » Thu Dec 28, 2017 1:30 am

Thank you for sharing. You are so brave. You are doing what's best for you and your children. Stay safe! ~ HUGS

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endoftheroad
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Re: He hit me.

Post by endoftheroad » Thu Dec 28, 2017 1:50 am

Thanks for keeping us in the loop Nikki! Well done young woman. Taking care of you and your precious children.. Keep coming back!

We are here for you!

Best to you! oxoxo
This is the easier softer way.....

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LKSG8R
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Re: He hit me.

Post by LKSG8R » Thu Dec 28, 2017 6:32 am

I'm so glad you let us know. Not only was I (and obviously many others) worried about you, but your story may help someone else in a similar situation. I think you are very, very brave and a good mother to think of your children's safety. Abusers may lash out when they feel trapped or betrayed, but typically don't have such detailed plans to hurt others or themselves. Your husband needs serious help. Much more than you can, or ever could give.

PLEASE keep coming back. As you may read on others's posts, separation from our addicted loved ones does equal recovery for us. The tools and support of Nar-Anon can help YOU learn how to live without feelings of anxiety, fear, guilt, and inappropriate attachments. My relationships with absolutely everyone, addict or not, have gotten so much better. I no longer ride on a rollercoaster of emotions. If my husband and I separated, this program would help me find a healthy relationship instead of falling into the same trap.

Keep coming back. It works if you work it!
Lisa
Trying to be the person my dog thinks I am.

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Ronni
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Re: He hit me.

Post by Ronni » Thu Dec 28, 2017 9:53 am

Good job!

Glad you're safe. Stay the course, finish this. He is dangerous.
My son's addiction is something that happened TO HIM. It is NOT something he did TO ME.

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HollyTx
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Re: He hit me.

Post by HollyTx » Thu Dec 28, 2017 9:54 am

Hugs, brave woman.

Holly

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