Milestone

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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Ronni
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Milestone

Post by Ronni » Wed Dec 13, 2017 9:52 am

A little over three years ago today I stumbled into these rooms, miserable and wretched over my AS who had been heavily using for the past several years, though I'd been dealing with his addiction for about 15. He'd lost everything, had been dumped by his most recent GF with a restraining order in place, had been arrested and/or thrown in jail numerous times, in rehab numerous times, had no job, no money, most of his belongings were sold, lost or left behind, and had gotten to the point where he was homeless and living out of his car. He disappeared for several months late 2014 and I had no idea if he was alive or dead. His driver's license had also been revoked some years before though he was continuing to drive, adding to his various charges and fines every time he was picked up. He'd been dodging all kinds of charges, had racked up thousands of dollars in fines, court costs, restitution etc., had warrants out for his arrest, violated probations, missed court dates....you name it, he'd done it.

He has spent the last three years slowly digging himself out of the mess he'd made of his life. He's voluntarily turned himself in several times, been to jail several times, wrapped up three different probations in three different counties, worked hard at two different jobs, taken buses and gotten rides everywhere he needed to go, and generally dedicated himself to getting his life back on track. He's back in his childrens' lives (tween and teen now,) having repaired his relationship with their mother (who is still an addict but a functioning one) talks to the kids every day, sees them all the time, takes care of his child support payments in a timely manner and has full access to them now after two years of being forbidden anywhere near them and several years prior to that of his relationship with them being random and intermittent.

Yesterday I took the day off from work to be his chauffeur as I taxied him around all over town, covering three different counties, to wrap up some fines, get on a payment program for another, gather information, recover documents, review paperwork, find a company who was willing to provide him with SR22 insurance..a state requirement given his record, al culminating in his appearance at the Department of Safety with a large sheaf of paper proving that he'd met all requirements necessary to have his driver's license reinstated. And it was! OMG!!! He walked out of there with a shiny new license, but even more than that, for the first time in 15 years he has nothing...NOTHING...hanging over his head. No probations, no fines, no warrants, no threats of incarceration if he's stopped, no legal restrictions of any kind. He said he felt like he might just float away he felt so light. :D

I handed him the car keys and he gave me such a look! He realized that he could get behind the wheel and drive...that it was OK for him to do so now....he had a valid license, car insurance, and no threats of any kind. He could stop looking over his shoulder because there was nothing dogging him. He was free of the many issues that had been weighing him down all these years. He still has a couple of programs to complete, and one more court appearance to make, but all that has been made easy with the re-issuance of his license.

Honestly, I never thought this day would come. Three years ago I was completely without hope that he'd ever recover, get his life back on track. He'd managed to not kill himself though he'd OD's several times, but I figured it was just a matter of time. I'd moved way past the point of having no expectations of him, to being hopeless and apathetic, and that's the way I was when I found Naranon. Not only is my RAS a different person than he was several years ago, *I* am too. Yes, I am so hugely proud of him!! Proud, but very, very aware that his success, his sobriety, is jft. Tomorrow may reverse everything, and I get that. The difference for me is that should he relapse, *I* will be able to deal with it far better than I ever have, and that's huge for me.

Regardless of what may happen tomorrow, it doesn't in the LEAST take away from my pride in his accomplishments, doesn't negate how hard he's worked to this point. I couldn't be happier right now. What a lovely christmas present!!!
My son's addiction is something that happened TO HIM. It is NOT something he did TO ME.

DeanW
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Re: Milestone

Post by DeanW » Wed Dec 13, 2017 10:09 am

I'm sure your son has a great feeling of accomplishment with this Driver's license. That's an amazing Christmas gift...

Claytonmomof2
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Re: Milestone

Post by Claytonmomof2 » Wed Dec 13, 2017 11:06 am

Inspiring - so nice to hear such a great share!

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EMPTY
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Re: Milestone

Post by EMPTY » Wed Dec 13, 2017 12:26 pm

I am so happy for you and your son.
CONGRATULATIONS...

MarieW
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Re: Milestone

Post by MarieW » Wed Dec 13, 2017 4:54 pm

Thank you so much for sharing your story of love and hope.

Keep coming back.
The only wrong way to work this program is to not work it.

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Shelly
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Re: Milestone

Post by Shelly » Wed Dec 13, 2017 5:10 pm

What a wonderful post....it warms my heart and gives me hope. So happy for you both.

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slm219
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Re: Milestone

Post by slm219 » Wed Dec 13, 2017 8:29 pm

Hi Ronni -

Thank you so much for sharing this... That first paragraph is my AS.....so you have given me hope.
I try to cling to hope but not always easy as you well know. So you have given that to me today.

So happy for your son.....
Hugs to you both.
Sharon
Even a small star shines in the darkness.

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vscook
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Re: Milestone

Post by vscook » Wed Dec 13, 2017 10:41 pm

Tyfs. It helps us newbies to read success stories. So happy for you and your son!
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift, that's why it's called the present.

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lbogie
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Re: Milestone

Post by lbogie » Wed Dec 13, 2017 11:12 pm

What an awesome share! So inspiring and full of Hope and Accomplishments. I'm so happy to hear this. Thank you for sharing.
Hugs, Lois
“It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart.”

― Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

Ma1954
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Re: Milestone

Post by Ma1954 » Thu Dec 14, 2017 3:29 am

TYFS. This sounds like my son right now. I'm on here because I can't sleep because I'm worried. I'm happy to hear of this success. Thanks be to God. Sue
Sick and tired of being sick and tired

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belkar1
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Re: Milestone

Post by belkar1 » Thu Dec 14, 2017 9:02 am

This is so AWSOME !!!!

You can live in your JOY, you know how to. They say do not leave till the miracle happens, little do we know the miracle is us learning how to heal. How to have a life, no matter what.

Love
Belkar

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Jade11
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Re: Milestone

Post by Jade11 » Sat Dec 16, 2017 8:15 pm

TYFS your story. I am so happy for you and your son! :)

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