He relapsed

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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Jade11
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He relapsed

Post by Jade11 » Sun Dec 10, 2017 2:00 pm

My husband relapsed this morning. It's 2 months since he came home from rehab.
He went out to get lunch stuff for my kids to take to Sunday school. He didn't come back in time. After our kids left, he came in high.
I wasn't shocked but for a moment I felt like just crying and complaining. But he's clearly not present with the drugs in his system. Lecturing, asking why ..... unhelpful things at ANY time, even less helpful right now.
I didn't know what to do with myself. So I Did the Next Right Thing. I put away the groceries he brought home. I divided up meat for my new freezer meal plan. I took my time dividing, packaging and marking each bag. I cleaned up the kids breakfast dishes. I made a pot of coffee and poured us both a cup. I used the new creamer I asked for ... a treat for myself. I'll give AH space to "Come down". He looks wired as he calls it. He went in the den to call an NA friend.

Doing those kitchen tasks really helped calm me down. It reminded me that life is still going on. And I am so thankful for what we have. My AH just relapsed but the world isn't crashing down on me.
I don't have to make any major decisions right now. I don't have to know the story of AH's relapse right now. It's enough I have my coffee, the kids are having fun, and I kick started my meal planning.
I feel sad, a little resigned, I feel tired of living with an ALO but I also have hope.
JFT, I will rely on my HP and Give it to God. TYFLMS

MarieW
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Re: He relapsed

Post by MarieW » Sun Dec 10, 2017 3:30 pm

Life does go on regardless of what my ALOs do. I've found that the longer I am in Nar-Anon, the less enmeshed I get with my son's recovery and the less devastated I feel when he relapses. Because my life is about me and my choices, not his. It was only when I had a bit of detachment that I was able to make good decisions for me.

Keep coming back.
The only wrong way to work this program is to not work it.

Sqbear42
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Re: He relapsed

Post by Sqbear42 » Sun Dec 10, 2017 6:39 pm

As my sponser used to say the program works if you work it" Sounds like you're working it! Great job!

Nicole

Claytonmomof2
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Re: He relapsed

Post by Claytonmomof2 » Sun Dec 10, 2017 9:38 pm

The strength in your words is inspiring. Thank you for sharing!

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vscook
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Re: He relapsed

Post by vscook » Sun Dec 10, 2017 11:22 pm

I am so impressed with how well you handled the situation! It's so hard to not get angry/resentful when I know my ALO has relapsed. I need to keep in mind that addressing it RIGHT THEN is probably not going to help the situation. TYFS.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift, that's why it's called the present.

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Jade11
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Re: He relapsed

Post by Jade11 » Mon Dec 11, 2017 3:00 pm

Thank you for your replies. I'm so thankful to you all for being here.xx

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HollyTx
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Re: He relapsed

Post by HollyTx » Mon Dec 11, 2017 8:55 pm

Keeping you and your husband in my prayers.
I am really amazed. I don't think I would have been as calm...In fact, I'm sure I wouldn't have been. You are rocking this program!

Holly

DeanW
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Re: He relapsed

Post by DeanW » Mon Dec 11, 2017 8:57 pm

Just sayin' - same as everyone else - you've got this! I do think doing the "normal" things helps immensely.

Ma1954
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Re: He relapsed

Post by Ma1954 » Tue Dec 12, 2017 9:42 am

TYFS! Life does go on and sometimes we don't see that until we are able to step back and do the normal things instead of riding on the crazy train. Hugs, Sue
Sick and tired of being sick and tired

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