addicted parent

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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addicted parent

Post by ABC613 » Sun Dec 03, 2017 3:13 pm

hi everyone,

I am new to this. I have an addicted parent who has been using on and off for 4 years. It has come to the point where I do not know what to do, or how to help him. I constantly check up on him because I am concerned for his well being. He has gone to rehab and detox 2x, but has relapsed multiple times. He tells me he will be getting clean but will do it on his own. This is starting to consume my life with all of my worries about him. I feel as if I have turned into his mother and he no longer acts like a father when he is high. He does not reach out to me when high. I do not know how I am supposed to go about this. I let him know I am there for him whenever I speak with him, but as soon as I hear his nasal voice I know he is on something and it completely ruins my day. Any advice on how to deal with this situation? I constantly feel bad for him.

thank you!

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Re: addicted parent

Post by vscook » Sun Dec 03, 2017 7:18 pm

Welcome to the forum! You do not mention how old you are or how old your father is. My husband was an alcoholic, and my daughter grew up parenting him too (We were separated). Obviously this is not healthy. Try to find a face to face Al-anon or Nar-anon meeting in your area. You will find other people who are dealing with similar situations. We also do online meetings on Sunday, Monday, and Wednesdays at 8 pm Eastern. I hope you will join us.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift, that's why it's called the present.

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Re: addicted parent

Post by flash » Mon Dec 04, 2017 7:19 am

Welcome. I'm sorry for what brought you here but you could definitely find ESH here (experience, strength and hope). I did.
Many family members of mine were addicts.
My sister growing up. My ex. It took my son to get me to nar anon.
And, my dad at almost 60 years old became addicted to percocets.
Took my sister, the addict, to recognize dad's addiction as we didn't know what his irrational behavior was from.
Getting to a face to face meeting is your best bet.
You will find others who understand what it is like to have your mind consumed with someone else most of your day.
But, the best part is you will learn how to take your mind and your life back.
It's not an easy thing. It is possible, though.
You will receive tools in the form of readings, wisdom, slogans that will help you.
We all understand and have taken steps to gain our lives back as we don't have control over anyone else.
Keep coming.
Love, Donna

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Re: addicted parent

Post by SDIN2T » Mon Dec 04, 2017 1:22 pm

It has come to the point where I do not know what to do, or how to help him.
I was in the same situation. The more I tried helping, the more I was being dragged along with them in suffering from THEIR addiction. After reading as much as I could here on this Forum, going to the online meetings, and finally going to real face 2 face meetings, I figured out I could not help my addict's, so I helped myself.

And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life - JK Rowling

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