Topic: Hope vs. Despair
Discussion leader: Vicki
Personalized Topic Comments:
My AD has recently started to slip in her behaviors, and I must be careful that I don’t slip with her. The SESH reading for December 3rd helps me focus on hope rather than despair:
How do you focus on hope when the pain of your ALO’s behavior could cause despair? Join us on Sunday, December 3 at 8 p.m. Eastern to discuss this topic and anything else that may be on your heart.I experienced a painful feeling of despair when I realized I could not control the addict or change the events caused by the addict’s behavior. I found that my life had become unmanageable because I was allowing the addict to have full control of my life.
I thought the addict had the problem and was the problem. If the addict would stop using, everything would be normal. Since my life revolved around the addict and the addict’s behavior, my involvement in the addict’s life kept me on a downward spiral of despair.
When I came to Nar-anon, I heard other members talking about similar situations. However, they had a hopeful attitude about their lives. They lived with the addict, yes, but were not focused on the addict’s life. Over time, the personal despair I felt seemed to lift, and I saw a way to change my life for the better. By using the Twelve Steps of the Nar-anon program, I am finding a way to remove myself from the feelings of despair. I can now replace those feelings with serenity and peace.
Thought for today: Despair and pain can be motivators, and I can release myself from them by working the Nar-anon program to change myself.
“Pain nourishes courage. You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you.” – Mary Tyler Moore
Log in with Forum login.
Simply click on Online Meeting icon to access Chat room.
PLEASE REVIEW THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION SO THAT YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH THE MEETING GUIDELINES:
Once the meeting has opened, we only read from or talk about conference approved literature which can be found on the literature order form from WSO at nar-anon.org.
Anything you hear tonight is strictly our own opinion. The principles of Nar-Anon are found in our Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. If a member says something here that you cannot accept – remember he or she is speaking from their own experience, they are not speaking for Nar-Anon. When you leave our meeting, take home those thoughts that will be most helpful to you, forget those you feel will not be helpful, and keep coming back.
We ask that you speak only as a member of Nar-Anon.
Please read and become familiar with the 12 Steps, Traditions and Concepts and posted under Announcements in the Nar-Anon Family Forum. It is important to understand the principles of this program.
The following are some important guidelines that will help you get the most out of the meeting.
The meeting today will last between 1 hour and 1-1/2 hours.
If you need to leave the meeting early, please try to leave after an individual has completed their share to minimize interruption.
In Nar Anon meetings, we do not engage in CROSSTALK. Personal progress for the greatest number depends on unity, so we take turns sharing our own experience, strength, and hope; we do not interrupt each other or engage in dialogue (either directly or through private messages); we do not put the spotlight on just one member; we do not give advice, offer solutions, or try to rescue one another. we do not offer our personal opinions, criticize, or judge anyone.
What is CROSSTALK? It is talking across the group to or with a specific individual. For the purposes of our online meeting, crosstalk refers to interrupting an individual while they are sharing with any typed comment.
It also refers to private messaging between individuals. It is important that we allow everyone the opportunity to engage in the meeting without the distraction of private messages.
By patiently listening, we show respect for each other and our concern for the common welfare of the group. Loving interchange can occur outside the meeting time via one-on-one or group conversations, e-mail, telephone, and sponsorship and staying after the meeting for open chat.
To participate and share in the online meeting we follow these guidelines for sharing:
To share, type “!” and wait to be recognized by the discussion leader.
In fairness to all who wish to share today, please keep your sharing to 3 – 5 minutes of typing. Once you are finished sharing, please type “done” so we are aware you have concluded your share.
To avoid any crosstalk, advice, or feedback when an individual has completed their share and allow time for all who wish to share today, please limit your responses to a simple TYFS and a few brief kind words of recovery related support and encouragement.