Boundaries

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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Claytonmomof2
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Boundaries

Post by Claytonmomof2 » Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:10 pm

I'm finding it very difficult to implement my boundaries and stick with it. I have to admit that I've done a really good job of it but it's killing me inside. To see my AH in such a state and to know the pain he's feeling inside tears me apart. I know that he realizes that he holds the power in turning this around but nothing will change for him until he actually seeks that. I can tell he wants the change but he's just not there yet. He recognizes his "bad choices" but doesn't want to admit the addiction. I know I have to stick to my boundaries and this will lead to better emotional stability for the kids and I and hopefully force him to face his own consequences. I so badly want him to seek recovery and his HP and to have our happy family back together. I feel that I'm making strides in my own relationship with my HP and it's helpful but I get moments of anxiety and moments of him testing my boundaries and that's so difficult for me. I see the pain in his eyes and my heart crumbles. It seems backwards but I'm having to push him away right now in hopes of one day being back closer together again. He's become very emotional about everything and I'm hoping that's a positive sign that maybe rock bottom is near. Once again I'm awaking in the middle of the night from the anxiety and stress of it all. Looking for any encouragement out there...

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HollyTx
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Re: Boundaries

Post by HollyTx » Thu Nov 30, 2017 4:53 pm

I'm so sorry you are having a tough time.

Boundaries are tough - and boundaries are for ME. They are what keep ME safe. If I'm waking up anxious about things, I have found that it is useful for me to reflect on what I need to do to feel better. Sometimes I find things I can do to lessen my anxiety. Sometimes I have to let go, because it just isn't within my power to do anything about it - and then I can worry, or I can hand it over to my HP. My HP is up 24x7 and can worry for me, so I can get some rest and sleep. Of course, sometimes I forget this - after all, I'm human.

Hugs to you,

Holly

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Jade11
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Re: Boundaries

Post by Jade11 » Thu Nov 30, 2017 5:58 pm

Boundaries are hard for me, too. Sometimes my boundaries have an effect on my husband's choices. Sometimes they don't. They do keep ME safe... emotionally, mentally, physically. When I am safe I'm more able to make healthy choices. I can release my ALO into the hands of his HP. I can trust those Hands to hold and guide him on his journey, they are far more capable hands than mine. <3

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