Nervous About Today

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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Nervous About Today

Post by Hopefulmom » Wed Nov 29, 2017 10:14 am

Picking my daughter up today to take her out for lunch her 48 th birthday was Monday past.She has a job and has been living in a sober house,very strict guidelines with intense out patient attendance(IOP).I am bringing her some homemade meals frozen for her enjoyment.She does have a job ,but due to a lousy bus route(I have verified this), she is catching rides and using uber .I am anxious thinking about any requests for extras.Am I wrong for anticipated requests or just go with the flow?she has not been shy about her requests in the past.

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Re: Nervous About Today

Post by AMD1296 » Wed Nov 29, 2017 11:50 am

Hi !! Enjoy your lunch be there and listen to what your daughter has to say, she is excited to be seeing you. Home made meals are awesome, she will be grateful if she requests anything simple explain that you have unexpected expenses this month but you will check back with her once it clears up, sending love and prayer :)


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Re: Nervous About Today

Post by SDIN2T » Wed Nov 29, 2017 3:14 pm

Maybe she will ask for extras and maybe she won't. My general rule about worry and projecting is that 95% of what I thought would happen didn't, and the other 5% didn't happen like I thought it would.

If you're daughter is truly sober and in recovery enjoy your time with her.

Last edited by SDIN2T on Wed Nov 29, 2017 4:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life - JK Rowling

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Re: Nervous About Today

Post by Patricia » Wed Nov 29, 2017 8:23 pm

I understand, and you may just want to be prepared with something to say in response to things that you expect to come up. Most of what we are dreading does not happen the way we think it will, but for me, it is good to be ready with something to say. This way I have a thoughtful response instead of just a (sometimes bad) reaction.

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Re: Nervous About Today

Post by hope1 » Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:19 am

I have learned that no is a complete sentence. I do not have to rationalize and justify my decision. Since my daughter has been in recovery, she does not try to manipulate stuff like she once did and shows appreciation for what i volunteer to do on my own accord.

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Re: Nervous About Today

Post by janiemarie » Thu Nov 30, 2017 9:54 am

I saw my AD for the first time in over a year at Thanksgiving. She is not in recovery but may be abstaining? ...again. I don't know. This is hers. I just simply missed my daughter and wanted to see her give her a hug and tell her I loved her. And this was all good for my mothers heart.

I felt strong enough in my program so we went out to eat with a few other family members. I had Zero expectations of what the encounter would be like but I was totally prepared. Armed to the hilt with my naranon toolbelt and also reviewed my cheat sheet of stock answers to diffuse any possible arguments that might arise. Thanks to my program I knew that NO is a complete sentence and have had many opportunities where I have practiced this. And if things escalated I had the option of leaving.

All in all it was good. I saw my daughter was able to give her a hug and tell her I loved her. She went on with her life and her struggles and I went on continuing to find the joy in my life each day.

Enjoy your time. Give her a hug. Tell her you love her. Let her go in her HP's hands and go find your joy.
“And this too, shall pass away.” How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!”
--- Abraham Lincoln

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