Cheat sheet/please add

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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belkar1
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Cheat sheet/please add

Post by belkar1 » Mon Nov 27, 2017 8:33 am

Hi Peeps,

I have a cheat sheet, when my AS calls from jail, or wherever he is. Even today after 5 years :shock: I can be caught off guard. Well AS has a playbook and so do I.

Meetings, sponsor, steps......Cheat sheet can we share it ? here are some of mine, what are yours?

1. No is a complete sentence......NO EXPLAINATION NEEDED

2. I am sorry you feel that way

3. This conversation is going NO where, call again, I love you,

4. Say what I mean BUT don't say it mean

5. I have confidence you CAN work it out

My actions have consequences, and I no longer participate in my own self sabotage. Why did I say that ? why did I promise that ? remorse and that icky feeling of how am I going to do that.

With a crazy week coming. filled with road trips, doctors appointments, and lots of physical pain. I must make sure I take care of ME and Hubby.
I am delegating stuff, and treating myself; The only control I have this week, is how I react to stuff.
So I will live MY JOY minutes at a time this week, remembering that 100 years from now. No one will remember this week, so really what may stay ?

The vibration of JOY

Love
Belkar

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endoftheroad
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Location: California
option_firstname: Susan

Re: Cheat sheet/please add

Post by endoftheroad » Mon Nov 27, 2017 12:31 pm

I love this phrase that I recently revisited here:

I AM UNWILLING TO DO THAT RIGHT NOW

Here's another one that I love:

YOUR ARE SO BRIGHT, I KNOW YOU WILL FIGURE THIS OUT

Or when all else fails and you can't get off the phone fast enough:

I'M SORRY HONEY, I HAVE TO GO, SOMEONE IS AT THE FRONT DOOR!
This is the easier softer way.....

Suejan
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option_firstname: Susan

Re: Cheat sheet/please add

Post by Suejan » Mon Nov 27, 2017 3:18 pm

“So I will live MY JOY minutes at a time this week, remembering that 100 years from now. No one will remember this week, so really what may stay ? “
Really meaningful words for me right now. In 100 years my choices will be irrelevant- and todays pain long gone.
We are supporting our sons recovery from a far, doing positive things only for him and right now that’s going great. However I have a niece who is 35 in active addiction that is been driving us crazy, and I am dealing with my parents ageing process. They are both in their 80s, my dad 85, and their suffering and life changes have brought me great emotional distress. For today they are my priority, and I believe thats how it should be. I have no time or resources left for my neice who is on a clear path of self destruction bent on taking everyone down with her!
My fallbacks—
“I have to check with uour dad/uncle (whatever) and will get back to you tomorrow “(usually the need is gone by the next day). And—-
“Sorry, however I have to give my time (resources) to your grandparents today.”

Thanks and good thoughts your way today Carmen💕
Susan

MarieW
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Re: Cheat sheet/please add

Post by MarieW » Mon Nov 27, 2017 3:20 pm

Learning to say "No" firmly and kindly is something I had to practice. It started with me realizing that I have choices and that I don't "have to" do anything out of fear, obligation or guilt. The good news, it gets easier!

When I first found the Forum, someone smart wrote that the only three things, (besides I love You) that is appropriate to say to your adult children are:

Wow, that's great!
I'm sorry that happend to you.
I know you will figure it out.

Variations of those three phrases have served me very well with my two kids.

Take care. Keep coming back.
The only wrong way to work this program is to not work it.

wheretoturn
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Re: Cheat sheet/please add

Post by wheretoturn » Mon Nov 27, 2017 9:34 pm

Thanks to all contributing to this post.

I actually found a 5 year old cheat sheet that I had saved, so I will definitely add these to it!!

Vicki

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