Feeling stressed

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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Feeling stressed

Post by mtcaballero1 » Sat Nov 25, 2017 4:21 pm

Hello all:
I have a 46 year old son whom has been using method for years. The longest he has stayed sober was 6 months. Why me! My son is a chronic relapser. Well, my pain and agony has lasted foever..I can't seem to get a breath of fresh air .I had finally told him living at my house is not an option anymore. He stayed at sober living homes only to continue using. For a minute I thought things would change for him. Being 46 and hoping he would finally be sick and tired. He put his self in a rehab. He stayed 2 months. He then went to a sober living home only to overdose on his psy med. He took 76 psy mess and 30 anti depressants. He was on life support for 12 days. He spent a total of 20 days in a hospital.
Of course, being me, I took him home to hopefully nurse him back to health. He has only been at my house for 2 weeks and us very combative.
I did not want him driving his car due to what he had just done and it seems like he has mire mental problens.. I got to a place where I just could not argue with him. I gave him his car keys.he said he was going to a meeting but went out to get high on meth. I just don't know what to do with my son..feeling stressed

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Re: Feeling stressed

Post by NeoMom » Sat Nov 25, 2017 6:28 pm


I am sorry to hear about your stress and pain. I can relate as many of us here can.

When I believed I could help my son, giving him a place to stay (my home) that soon shattered when I found my son on the bathroom floor lifeless ..He had OD'd. Had I not been home and heard the thud on the floor...
(I am still haunted by this experience). While at the hospital I told my son that I loved him but living here would not be an option (it'll be a yr Dec).

That night/experience changed everything. I was tired, stressed, and frightened for my son, and my own health. I had spent years trying to control, and save my son. Dealing with the chaos and drama over the years was so intense and so stressful that I developed a heart condition.

After years of trying to help save my son I came to realize I was powerless of this disease.

One thing (of many) that I have learned thus far in working the program (steps) was to begin to place the focus on my own life, and well being.

It's important that I remember that "Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes...Let It Begin With Me"

I have learned SO much here it has given me some sanity and peace back in my life.
I have learned that I can not control or manage what my ALO choses to do, but I CAN control and choose what is best for me. (I believe in the long run best for him as well).
I'm a work in progress, and I know I may stumble time to time but I know that will continue to learn. I know that I will always have the support, encouragement and shared experiences here to learn from and help carry me through.

Finding this forum, and working the steps saved my life.

I love my son. That will never change...and I am here for him, it's just in a different way now... I believe a healthier way.

Last edited by NeoMom on Sun Nov 26, 2017 10:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Embrace the glorious mess that you are" E.Gilbert

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Re: Feeling stressed

Post by PalotisND » Sat Nov 25, 2017 10:31 pm

My life with my AH did not change for the better until I chose to take care of me, let go, and let God. I didn't cause the addiction to meth (almost 4 years, and he's 56), I can't control it, and I can't cure it. When I set the boundary of no meth in my life, I began to regain my health. It's hard to do, & at times my AH could have died to exposure to cold, but each time I have hope for a long-term meth-free marriage. I try to focus on one day at a time, & make each decision for my recovery from this family illness of addiction.

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Re: Feeling stressed

Post by Ma1954 » Sun Nov 26, 2017 8:55 am

TYFS, I am in a very bad spot, too! We really need to take care of ourselves. My husband said a good point yesterday, that I was going to wind up in the nut house. Do we have to go down with the ship or should we grab the life preserver and swim away from the sinking ship as best we can. It's easier said then done. God help us. Sue
Sick and tired of being sick and tired

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Re: Feeling stressed

Post by whitedove » Sun Nov 26, 2017 1:55 pm

Ma1954 wrote:
Sun Nov 26, 2017 8:55 am
My husband said a good point yesterday, that I was going to wind up in the nut house.
Our AS is presently staying with us. Right now I feel like I am living in the nut house....or maybe the nut house is the brief vacation I need....until you live with the addiction no one can fathom the stress

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Re: Feeling stressed

Post by Lucky323 » Wed Nov 29, 2017 11:05 pm


The stress of having the AS in the house is very unnerving. I feel completely reduced living with an addicted person.

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