We Have to Recover also..and it's a journey

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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IsaJ26
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We Have to Recover also..and it's a journey

Post by IsaJ26 » Fri Nov 24, 2017 8:51 pm

After having about a week of quiet, Thanksgiving was approaching, and an ALO rose their head. Aint that always the way? She's homeless, haven't heard from her in a while and she texted to ask if she could come and stay with me a while. Tempted to laugh, throw up, bang my head on the wall and a whole host of other things, I sat, waited until I was truly ready to respond or not. Still very much involved in another situation with another ALO and the madness that it is causing, I knew there was no way, but I wanted to really deal with this from my new and evolving wholeness. I texted her the next day and told her that I was unwilling to help her in the way that she was asking (I could have said I couldn't help her, but the fact is, I am unwilling to help her). I told her I was not in the place where I could truly help her and quite frankly, what she was asking would only help her for the moment, but not for the long haul. I told her that all the things that have happened for so many years not only affected her, but it affected me and I was working on myself so that I could someday, maybe, help her in a way that would make a difference. I asked for forgiveness for being in this place (even though I didn't cause it, I allowed it). While I had to deal with some guilt and sadness that she had no one to spend Thanksgiving with, I knew I did not cause this. I struggle with forgiveness, even though I have openly forgiven my LO's. And I know unforgiveness is like me drinking rat poison and sitting, waiting for the rat to die. I struggle with showing grace and mercy out of fear of it being trampled on and an excuse for them to require more. I know that my HP (God), forgives me daily and He/She doesn't remember unless I bring it up again by repeating my mistakes. I'm learning daily to love those ravaged by addiction. I'm actually learning what real love is. It looks a little different than what I thought. I'm recovering from being the victim of addiction even though my loved one's have not started recovery of their addiction.

DeanW
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Re: We Have to Recover also..and it's a journey

Post by DeanW » Fri Nov 24, 2017 9:13 pm

I still remember the time I said, "I am unwilling to......" It was an important moment for me to phrase it that way. I had been working up to that by saying, "dad and I think...." When I finally said this I felt I was starting to take control of my own actions.

MarieW
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Re: We Have to Recover also..and it's a journey

Post by MarieW » Sat Nov 25, 2017 1:24 pm

Thank you for sharing. This program first helped me figure out what I wanted/needed, then helped me communicate it honestly. What a gift!

Keep coming back.
The only wrong way to work this program is to not work it.

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endoftheroad
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Re: We Have to Recover also..and it's a journey

Post by endoftheroad » Sat Nov 25, 2017 10:27 pm

What a splendid post of your great recovery! You will help so many as we trudge our way through the holidays with our ALO's on the loose! :o
Yes, we become "unwilling" to do many things as we grow here one day at a time!
Thank you for owning your life and being unwilling to unravel for an addict without a notion of recovery!
Amen and ox Susan
This is the easier softer way.....

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