A smile today

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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loveandrespect
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A smile today

Post by loveandrespect » Tue Nov 21, 2017 1:22 am

I discovered this forum a week ago. After a very tough couple of weeks where my AS had relapsed the words of wisdom and reading other peoples experiences helped me put some perspective into my life. It reinforced my thoughts about having to let go, encourage the positive and try not to dwell on the negatives that seem to have been overwhelming me lately.
For the last 2 weeks my AS has not wanted any contact with me, we don't live in the same town. For the 1st time in his life I refused to help him out financially. I was absolutely shattered when I realised that he had relapsed and his money was being spent in other ways. It was a tough lesson for us both. His wife asked me to go down for the day to help out with the grandchildren over the weekend. I had a beautiful day looking after the grandchildren, gave my son a big hug and did not focus on anything that had recently occurred. I think he was waiting for me to give him a lecture, as I would have normally done prior to reading this site. It was good to reconnect in a positive way.
Changing my attitude and accepting my AS warts and all has made a difference to how I cope. Today I checked my bank account and he had deposited a small sum of money in my account. He had been paying me back for some money I had lent him up until his relapse. I know that his journey will be a long and rocky road, but today this simple act put a smile on my face.

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jeanette
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Location: West Virginia
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Re: A smile today

Post by jeanette » Tue Nov 21, 2017 7:56 am

Congratulations on accepting this program into your heart!

And it sound like you had a wonderful visit with everyone!

When I change, there can be changes in the world!
Thoughts and Prayers, Peace and Love
Jeanette

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them FEEL. - Maya Angelou

wheretoturn
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Re: A smile today

Post by wheretoturn » Tue Nov 21, 2017 9:10 am

So glad you had a good visit!!
Vicki

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hope4today
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Re: A smile today

Post by hope4today » Wed Nov 22, 2017 4:16 pm

Your share emphasizes one of my favorite slogans here....Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes...Let It Begin With Me
Great recovery work!

loveandrespect
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Re: A smile today

Post by loveandrespect » Wed Nov 22, 2017 9:47 pm

Thank you for the positive comments.
hope4today I wrote that same saying out yesterday and pinned it on a photo of my son, so your comment was very timely.

Since my last posting I have had 1 step forward and 2 steps backward.
His wife has asked him to move out of their home. She is also a recovering Addict. She needs to put the children and herself 1st. I support her in her decision. We don't know where he is living. My AS needs to decide which path he wants to walk along. It still hurts to know that I can't fix the problem, but I now accept that's how it is. Its his journey not mine.

I feel that I have gained so much strength & understanding from reading everyone's comments, we are all so similar. Its nice to know that I am no longer alone in this battle. I have had my eyes opened as to how I had to let go of the control. I was totally unaware that my "so called" help was actually not helping my AS to face up to the consequences of his actions.

Hugs to everyone

Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes...Let It Begin With Me

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