Newbie Story

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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Newbie Story

Post by Jw103 » Sat Nov 18, 2017 3:32 pm

Hi All,

I’m new to this site and looking to go to a face to face meeting soon.

My boyfriend and I have known each other for about 6 years now, we started as friends but grew into a couple and have built a pretty good life together. He’s a good, kind man with a great heart and I never doubt his love for me.
When we first met I knew he used cocaine but he stopped very soon after we met. I guess I just thought his usage was associated with the young, party lifestyle he was still living in when we met. He was kind of like a frat boy without the frat. Since it didn’t seem hard for him to quit back then I just assumed it was recreational and he grew out of that lifestyle.
About a year and a half ago though the cocaine creeped back into our life. I guess it started with a friend who had some when they were out and it was reintroduced into his life. I had no idea until our life got flipped upside down and stress grew exponentially. You see last year we found out that his sister was addicted to herion, we found this out when her husband got arrested. This whole ordeal threw his family into chaos and him being the good man that he is took the weight of the world on his shoulders. He sat by his sisters side for 3 days while she detoxed. A sight no person should have to see or experience. I’ll spare you the details but basically this event along with some issues with my parents all added to his stress and he chose to cope and numb the pain with cocaine. It has gotten worse and worse and I am having trouble coping with it and how to work with him. He wants to get help and he has a counselor but when he uses I have a hard time understanding him and how to talk to him. He gets super anxious and paranoid and I try to help talk him down but find myself getting frustrated that we are in this situation because He used. His actions start to make me feel helpless, useless and depressed like I can’t be there and help the person I love most in this world.
I recently went to a session with him and his counselor and the counselor suggested I start attending these meetings To help me. So that brings me here today and this is really the first time i have said any of this “out loud”. I don’t tell anyone about our situation because I worry he will lose his job, or people will unfair judge us.
Anyway, that’s my ramble for today, I appreciate anyone who reads and if you have any tips, encouraging words or advice I am open.

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Re: Newbie Story

Post by Heart2Dust » Sat Nov 18, 2017 3:36 pm

Been there done that.You got a long row to how if you are anything like me.
Never give up, pray, pray ,pray. God can handle ALL the things we can't.

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Re: Newbie Story

Post by MarieW » Sat Nov 18, 2017 3:41 pm

Welcome to the Forum. I'm sorry you need us but glad you found us!

Keep coming back here. Read, post, attend our on-line meetings. Find a face to face meeting (Nar-Anon or Al-Anon) on your area.

Living with someone struggling with addiction is too much for most of us to handle alone. The good news is, we don't have to!
The only wrong way to work this program is to not work it.

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