So he's dead and I'm not.

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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Re: So he's dead and I'm not.

Post by DianeB » Fri Nov 17, 2017 12:12 pm

Yes it is sad. Yes it is a tragic event. Yes it is profound.

I am sorry for his passing and for your feelings.

Yet...your title says it all. You're not

Feel the grief and celebrate life.

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Re: So he's dead and I'm not.

Post by Jade11 » Fri Nov 17, 2017 5:46 pm

I'm so sorry for your loss. My prayers and condolences go out to you and the family. ((hugs))

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Re: So he's dead and I'm not.

Post by Marianne » Fri Nov 17, 2017 11:09 pm


I am sorry to hear this tragic news. I remember your stories of your ALO over the years and what you were going through. I am sure you are experiencing so many emotions, as you stated. May you find strength to get through all this. My prayers to you and the family's of the deceased.

Know you are not alone and we are here for you.

"Acceptance of what is does not mean liking it as it is." ~ Iyanla Van Zant

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Re: So he's dead and I'm not.

Post by linda.f » Sat Nov 18, 2017 10:46 am

I'm so sorry Lyra. There has been so much growth with you over the years
and you have come such a long way in working your program. You truly wanted
a better way to live and found it! Your testimony has helped many here.

We are here for you. I am sending my prayers and condolences to you during this sad time.


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Re: So he's dead and I'm not.

Post by mtbr » Sun Nov 19, 2017 6:24 am

I, too, remember your posts and the meetings we attended. I can hear your pride in your business accomplishments, and I am so happy for you in that regard. I find such comfort in knowing that when I am stepping back on the crazy train, I can come here and find my way again. ((hugs))

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Re: So he's dead and I'm not.

Post by HollyTx » Mon Nov 20, 2017 12:30 pm

Sending you much love and many hugs and prayers, Lyra.


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Re: So he's dead and I'm not.

Post by Lyra » Mon Nov 20, 2017 10:23 pm

Thank you everyone and thank you to those who were here through it all back when I was on the crazy train regularly. I appreciate the ESH, I am going to seek therapy and I know that I can't expect closure in these circumstances. I will work on letting go and letting HP and appreciating the life I do have. And driving very very carefully (I drive all the time for our tours, sometimes up to 1000 miles a week). It could have been me. But its not. Seeing the body at the funeral was not easy (we like to do open casket around here so people can get that "yes he's really dead" closure). I finally cried a lot. Even though I had a lot of emotions and feelings that had not been worked through (and Ill do that now) regarding this person, seeing him dead wasn't ever my goal. Yet he was still abusive to me and difficult and acted like two different people in one body (scary to see and I still remember it well). So yes lots of complicated emotions. I'm sorry that he is dead. I am glad I am alive and that I got out of that relationship physically in one piece. But I still have a lot of wounds to heal emotionally so maybe the silver lining of this death is that it will push me to take the step of therapy to work some more on the after effects of being in an emotionally and (slightly) physically abusive situation.

Thanks for being here it means a lot.

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