New Job causes Worry

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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jhelpmom
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New Job causes Worry

Post by jhelpmom » Wed Nov 15, 2017 2:12 pm

Hi All,
My RAS got fired from Shop RIte for too many lates, and calling in to cancel his shift because he couldn't get a ride from a housemate. He was too lazy to t he have $2.35? Probably not, because he spent it on cigarettes. His choice.
So now he's working as a cab driver on the midnight shift from 5pm to 5am. He gets 50% of the take, but has to pay for gas using the company's car.
I'm worried he'll fall asleep at the wheel. I'm worried he'll be tempted by having cash in his hand. I'm worried about night time drug dealers on the streets. I'm worried about all the freedom the car gives him that he didn't have without it.
He sounds strong and is sober. I'm also worried that working the night shift will not allow him to go to house meetings
or meet with his sponsor.
Am I scratching an itch that hasn't happened yet?

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DianeB
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Re: New Job causes Worry

Post by DianeB » Wed Nov 15, 2017 3:25 pm

When I stopped worrying and what ifs about others and took my own life in hand, I began the process of healing.

Find meetings. Find a sponsor. Work the steps. Heal yourself. That is in your control.

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simplemom
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Re: New Job causes Worry

Post by simplemom » Wed Nov 15, 2017 4:30 pm

Have you come across the tool called the hula hoop? Where addiction is concerned, I have become mindful of staying inside my hula hoop (my responsibilities) instead of stepping outside of it, into the chaos of my son's choices and consequences.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: 95% of what you worry about never happens and the other 5% doesn't happen the way you thought.

Another saying....worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do and it gets you no where.

I do have healthy concerns about my son, but once I let the worry take over then it is time for me to look inward as to why I continue to engage in an unhealthy behavior. Literature (the indexes in the back of these readers have many pages about worrying and other topics), meetings, step work and sponsor/share partner have aided me to stop the worrier in me to become a spiritual warrior! To be free and give my son the dignity to live his life. His recovery or lack of is his business, does not belong in my hula hoop.

Take care of yourself! You are worth it.
Karen (simplemom)
"I am not afraid of storms, I am learning to sail my own ship."
Louise May Alcott

MarieW
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Re: New Job causes Worry

Post by MarieW » Wed Nov 15, 2017 5:40 pm

Been there...I call it "What iffing myself into a frenzy." By working this program, I've learned to dial down my worry to interest and concern. I am interested in the lives of my adult children and am frequently concerned about some of their choices, but realize that I need to keep my focus on my own life. When I creep into worry, I know I need to attend more meetings!

Keep coming back.
The only wrong way to work this program is to not work it.

Dannie
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Re: New Job causes Worry

Post by Dannie » Thu Nov 16, 2017 4:43 pm

I have worked very hard this past year learning how to stop taking on all of the worry that comes with having adult kids. Especially the one I have that is an addict. I DO worry and I DO think about it all the time but I am learning how to go about each day and make the best of my life. Boy, it took a long time and will always be a work in progress.

A wise woman once told me not to borrow trouble. It has stuck with me so I try not to think about all that can happen. My AS is in rehab for the second time right now and I think about it sometimes thinking that he might relapse but I push it out of my head and focus on today. Today your son is working and sober. Today my son is in rehab. That's wonderful.

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jhelpmom
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Re: New Job causes Worry

Post by jhelpmom » Sat Nov 18, 2017 10:57 am

Thank you for the reminders. Of course, you are all right.
Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

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