praying and praying some more

With the understanding that addiction is a disease and the realization that we are powerless over it as well as over people's lives, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own.

Then, and only then can we be of any help to others.

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praying and praying some more

Post by ktoews » Wed Nov 15, 2017 8:29 am

My AS continues to find his way amongst chaos and seems to have a never ending distress level. He's been homeless so much over the last year and a half, simply agonizing to receive his phone calls usually from the ER - something happens when he's been kicked out once again. He now has progressed to IV meth use, and gets aggressive and hostile with paranoia. He was on probation for last year, and in spite of not doing anything that was ordered, it is about to expire! He probably attended 8 times in the year when he was ordered to bi-weekly attendance with a variety of orders for counselling and keeping the peace. Well, didn't attend counselling, and his life is no where near peaceful with constant police presence in his life. Most recently, he was going to go into a social detox, as there are no beds in my province for medical detox for meth use.....then he magically found housing so did not go to detox. Not really sure the point of detox, as there are only 3-4 week programs that the system offers for treatment, and it's 3-4 months to get into these he would be a bit hooped even if he went into detox. I have mainly given up encouraging him. In this house he's in, of course there's a girl that also abuses drugs and they are both hostile and paranoid. He phones me last week to say the police are always there, and he needs to get out - not sure if this is drama, delusion, or simply mixed up. He's been evicted this upcoming Friday anyhow. Damaging the house by boarding up his door and windows with 2 X 4's.....gee whiz. This weekend, he phones me a bit more lucid, and said the day before there was three cop cars that showed up with ambulances. He was begging for me to get a room for him, I said the only thing I was willing to help with was to find a proper detox. I finally called the police to ask if this is true, and yes they confirmed that they receive calls from my son's room mate all the time, and there are ridiculous calls coming in - they've been there 7 times in less than two weeks. I stated, my son and probably this girl have orders from judge/crown to keep the peace and the police officer said they don't enforce this. I asked if these two are at risk of hurting one another, he said he didn't know. It's all so discouraging......I cannot understand how he doesn't tire of all this. There's really nothing left to do but pray some more.

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Re: praying and praying some more

Post by DeanW » Wed Nov 15, 2017 9:29 am

I know the discouragement.

And, the lifestyle seems so exhausting. It's exhausting to us to even know about. Praying for both of you.

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Re: praying and praying some more

Post by jhelpmom » Wed Nov 15, 2017 9:32 am

I am so sorry for your son's situation and the pain you are all experiencing. Thank you for sharing.

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Re: praying and praying some more

Post by vscook » Wed Nov 15, 2017 10:01 am

I will say a prayer for your AS and for you to find a little peace. (Hugs)
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift, that's why it's called the present.

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Re: praying and praying some more

Post by DianeB » Wed Nov 15, 2017 10:37 am

There was (and still is) a point where I have done all within my power and tried to
exert power I don't have in order to save my son from certain death. I have gone
there over and over. Always thinking I can yet find that solution.

These years have taught be that I truly am powerless. Even in our life today without
active addiction, life has brought me to my knees searching for some solution, trying
desperately to find some power to stop life on life's terms from being so very harsh.

I have been left so many times on my knees (where I am today) praying for my HP
to find a path towards health and life. And that's all I can do now.

I have no power. I have no solution. I can only pray and hold tightly on to hope.


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Re: praying and praying some more

Post by odat1 » Wed Nov 15, 2017 12:54 pm

Prayers sent.

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Re: praying and praying some more

Post by MATT'S MOM » Wed Nov 15, 2017 1:52 pm

praying for you all

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Re: praying and praying some more

Post by hope1 » Thu Nov 16, 2017 1:01 am

I can hear your pain in our words. I am so very sorry for the suffering for both you and your son. This disease is relentless when active, yet i have been able to witness the miracle of people whom it seemed were a lost cause. I have a nephew whom abused every drug known to man for 20 years in every form and was in intensive care with life threatening illness from drug use. He was spared again and again and is now clean and sober and in university. My sister had given up all hope and she now has her son back after all these years. It truly is a gift from god and a miracle. Where there is life there is hope.

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Re: praying and praying some more

Post by endoftheroad » Thu Nov 16, 2017 1:54 pm

I am praying for you, that you find peace my friend.

And I am praying that your son will become sick and tired of the insanity of addiction very soon..

Walking with you, blessings.......Susan
This is the easier softer way.....

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Re: praying and praying some more

Post by Dannie » Thu Nov 16, 2017 4:51 pm

I have heard recently from my AS who is in rehab that he was just exhausted from this life he had been living. He was so emotionally and physically tired. Walking around paranoid with nowhere to go or nothing to do is exhausting believe it or not. That is when he called me to take him to rehab. Your son will have to be exhausted and ready for it to stop. There was nothing I could do for him but tell him I loved him when he would call occasionally. I pray he doesn't relapse because I want some peace for him after seeing how terrible it was.

I understand your frustration and pain. It had to be my son's choice and I was there to take his call when he was ready for help. :)

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Re: praying and praying some more

Post by flash » Sat Nov 18, 2017 8:20 am

Sending prayers your way.
I know it is so hard to have hope of any kind when it has been pulled from our grasp over and over.
May you feel the hope, love, light and strength from the group.
We are always here for you.
Love, Donna

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Re: praying and praying some more

Post by kizzies1202 » Sat Nov 18, 2017 7:41 pm

I guess we all understand this life of our addicted children all to well. I hear and feel everything you are going through,it breaks my heart day in and day out for my sons addiction.I always say never give up hope because that is where it will end.I pray everyday that one day my son will get tired of this torment and ask for help,until that day comes I will forever Pray and Pray and put my son in Gods hands and accept Gods plans for him.I will add you and your family to my ever growing prayer list.

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Re: praying and praying some more

Post by ktoews » Sun Nov 19, 2017 10:49 pm

thank-you all. I continue to pray for my son - that he may be open to the light and goodness of his higher power.

I have not heard from him, but I did take a peek at the police report site in his city, and learned he trashed the house he was living and becoming evicted from and had resulting charges. He is now homeless again as he knew he would be. I never know if contacting him via text is feeding into any possible problems, so I've kept myself from doing this. I do hope to hear from him soon.

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Re: praying and praying some more

Post by slm219 » Mon Nov 20, 2017 11:12 am

Prayers sent to you Kim. I know it is exhausting and seems never ending but we can never give up hope.
We are walking this road together.
Even a small star shines in the darkness.

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Re: praying and praying some more

Post by belkar1 » Mon Nov 20, 2017 12:11 pm

An addicts life is a hard one. Filled with sadness, always on the hunt for the next drug. From my experience it is exhausting, for my son as well as everyone who loves him.

I see my son live in constant pain, hunger, and mindless at times. My mothers heart breaks, but I have NO control. My job is just to love him just the way he is. Offer compassion, comfort when I can. He knows I love him, I know when he is not using he hears me.

I have found the courage to change the things I can, and that is ME. Sending you a warm hug, sending prayers for all of you. That is within my power to do.


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